A young woman who was raised by her older half-sister after their mother passed away, wants her sister to walk her down the aisle as well as be her maid of honor. However, her fiancé objects, citing tradition, and his family gets involved, leading to a difficult decision for the bride-to-be.
I (23F) was raised by my older half sister (32F). I never met my dad and our mom OD’d when I was 10 and my sister was 19. My sister’s dad was still in her life and was willing to support her, but not me. My sister chose to be my guardian and her father’s family went low-contact with her as a result. In order to raise me she gave up a lot; her relationship with her father, college, her 20s, and so much more.
A few months ago I got engaged and I told my sister that in addition to being my maid of honor, I also wanted her to be the one to walk me down the aisle. All my life she’s had to fulfill so many roles for me — big sister, mother, father, friend — that it only felt right that those multiple roles be honored on one of the biggest days of my life. My sister was ecstatic and so was I, but when I brought it up with my fiance he objected.
My future in-laws are very traditional and my fiance had always expected that his wedding would be a very traditional white wedding. He said that it was great that my sister was my MOH, but that her having two roles wasn’t and that it wasn’t appropriate for her to walk me down the aisle since that’s usually done by a man. Apparently, his family had assumed that my future father-in-law would be the one to give me away since I don’t have any male relatives.
I told him that I appreciate his father being willing to fill that role, but that the one who make me the person I am is my sister and so it’s right that she be the one to give me away. It turned into an argument that spread to my in-laws. My MIL called me a few days ago to say that although she understands how important my sister is to me, that it’s also my fiance’s wedding and I shouldn’t be putting my sister before him on his day.
I definately heard her on that, but this is still important to me. At this point, my sister has even said that she doesn’t mind just being the MOH and that she doesn’t want to turn my happy day into something stressful. So now it’s just me holding out and being stubborn, but I really don’t want to concede on this point. Am I being the AH?