AITA for taking the diamond out of an heirloom ring for my gf’s engagement ring

Source: Reddit

I (28M) have a 32F sister and a 37M brother. My grandmother left my mother her diamond engagement ring. My mother always said she would leave the ring to my sister (32F), but my sister recently told her that since she has an engagement ring from her husband and she’s not really into jewelry anyway why not leave grandma’s ring to one of our brother’s kids (my sister is childfree).

A couple of months ago I told mom I was going to propose to my gf, and she offered me gram’s ring to do it with. My gf was amazed at the size of the rock, but didn’t like the ring – it was a traditional solitaire setting in white gold – and asked if we could take the diamond out and use it in something more modern. She picked a new platinum setting with a couple of smaller diamonds and I was glad to save money. When my mother found out she was surprised, but not upset, and asked if she could have the setting back (the inside was engraved with my grandparents’ initials and a message). I didn’t have any use for it so I said sure.

This weekend my fiancée and me and my sister and her husband were visiting our parents for father’s day, and my sister was excited and asked to see Missy’s ring. When my fiancée held out her hand my sister had a surprised pikachu face and said she thought I was proposing with gram’s ring? I told her it was gram’s diamond, and she said “oh,” and that was it.

On Sunday I noticed my mother was wearing the old setting, but it had a blue stone (a sapphire). I asked her what that was about and she said my sister took it to a local jeweler and had the new stone put in and gave it to her as an early birthday present, and mom was all happy she could still wear the setting, which she’d missed having on her finger (she used to wear it all the time).

I confronted my sister later that night and asked her what her problem was. She said nothing at first but I kept pushing, and finally she said look, if I knew you were going to mutilate gram’s ring I wouldn’t have told mom to give it to you. I said she didn’t – she said mom should give it to one of the nephews. Sis said that’s because she assumed mom would want to keep it during her lifetime. Then she said if all Missy and I wanted was the diamond that was our prerogative, but the setting was a piece of family history and sentimental and she didn’t want it getting tossed aside. I thought she made me look bad and said so, she told me to get over myself, I called her a b%tch, she told me if I’m getting married I should think about growing up and walking off, and I feel like she spoiled my engagement gift to Missy. I need some advice on if I’m wrong.

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