“Am I A Jerk For Telling My Wife That Leaving Her Used Pad In My Brother’s Place Was Inappropriate?”

Most of the time, the menstrual taboo presents itself in clever and nuanced ways that appear benign and are difficult to detect. However, there are occasions when there is actual revulsion, humiliation, and dread associated with it, and women and girls feel humiliated for having periods in the first place. Like in this story below where a husband is upset with his wife for being “very improper” for putting a soiled pad in his brother’s bathroom- in the trash where it should be. Read the whole story and share your views on this.

Source: Reddit

My wife and I were invited to my brother’s 31st birthday. He’s single and lives alone in his apartment.

So to give you the heads up, my wife and him don’t get along so well. But can be civil enough to sit at the same table.

So, we went and had dinner and talked and everything was going well, no argument, nothing til after my wife went to use the bathroom. Later my brother went to use the bathroom then came back looking pissed. He kept giving me and my wife looks but I didn’t know what was going on til he pulled me aside before we left and told me that my wife had left her used pad in his bathroom. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say because this felt highly inappropriate. He said he didn’t appreciate what my wife did and that it was a sign of disrespect towards him. I apologized profoundly and said I didn’t know about it. He asked me to speak to her or she wouldn’t be welcome in his place anymore.

We got in the car and I asked my wife about it, she nonchalantly said there was nothing wrong with what she did and that my brother was being ridiculous. I kind of flipped and told her it was very inappropriate for her to leave her used pad in his place even if it was in the bathroom and in the trashcan because it made him uncomfortable. She yelled asking what she was supposed to do and I told her she could’ve taken it with her and threw it outside not in his bathroom — that’s my brother’s place and he told me how he felt about it. She yelled at me calling my brother an incel and me an AH for “getting in her face about it”. She said she needed to use the bathroom and it’s not like the pad was visible since she dumped it in the trash can.

At home we still argued about it and she kept on calling me and my brother names. She’s currently not speaking to me and is avoiding me entirely. Regardless, I feel like it’s his place and he gets to express what makes him uncomfortable in it.

EDIT. I can’t give info or expand on what was seen but I can tell you that the trash can does not have a lid. It’s not like one of those trash cans that have a lid on top and you can push it. What I want to emphasize is the fact that as guests we should respect people’s homes and not argue about what makes them uncomfortable. He said it made him uncomfortable and that should, in my opinion, be acknowledged.

Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: 

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