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Am I Being Unreasonable For Refusing To Pay For My Boyfriend’s Son’s Surgery.

Source: Reddit

I (F32) met my boyfriend (M36) 3 months ago at the airport of the new city I moved in. He’s a single dad of 2 kids (6 & 12). I never met them (not yet) but I saw pictures of them. He says it’s early for his kids to meet me. it’s for their mental health and I respect that. I do send them (a bit costy) gifts every weekend and my boyfriend assured me that he will tell them eventually where these gifts are coming from.

Anyways, He didn’t call nor reply to my texts for a whole week. He then contacted me saying his kid was in the hospital for an injury. I felt bad for him. I afford to visit but he said there was no need for me to do this; but suggested I send gifts instead as a way to cheer him up.

He later called me saying was busy all day trying to come up with money to pay for his son’s surgery. We talked some then he asked if I could lend him $5000 to help pay for the surgery. I have to say that I was caught off guard but he said that he felt so heavy making this request but had no one else willing to help but me. Thing is I worked hard to save up the money that’s in my account and I don’t feel comfortable letting go of $5000 all at once.

He said it’s fine if I don’t feel comfortable but then started bringing it up saying he’s in dire need of help and the surgery needed to happen next week under doctor’s recommendation. I started feeling pressured but he promised that he’ll have me meet his son and other son right after he gets done with the surgery which is great but again the money is a lot, $5000 is a lot of money. I refused eventually and he got upset with me and kept on about how cruel I was, and how little I care about his kids and him but I swore it wasn’t like this but he hung up on me saying he needed to get some fresh air.

Later, he sent me a photo of his son’s arm with an IV drip attached to it. I cried when I saw it and I called him but he did not reply. I’m still refusing to pay but a friend of mine says I should do it and have some sort of contract in place to ensure I get the money back. Am I Wrong for not wanting to pay?

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