Am I Jerk For Announcing Pregnancy At Xmas Knowing My SIL Has Had Miscarriages.

A new baby is a unique, lovely, and joyful experience. Knowing that you are pregnant is a joyous moment that one wishes to share the information with loved ones too. Read this story to know what happened when this couple announced their pregnancy and share your thoughts on this.

Source: Reddit

My brother and his wife have been trying to get pregnant but unfortunately she’s had 6 miscarriages. That sucks, I know, I’m not discounting that at all. That being said she’s a center of attention kind of person, she will sh*t talk other people all day long and try to make herself look like the best person in the room. If anyone else gets attention she tries to take it away from them, usually by putting them down verbally, or by getting another dog or cat. Most of the animals she has were obtained right after other people she knew got pregnant.

Well, wife and I got pregnant, discussed at length with how we should approach this, keeping my SIL in mind was the main topic of conversation. We didn’t want to upset her but we also didn’t feel like it was right to let her dictate our actions and make it impossible to celebrate the life that we’re creating. So we made t shirts, announcing the pregnancy. Not gloating it, just announcing it.

Christmas time, we come over to my mom’s place, do present exchange, then change shirts. My mother was very happy but I could see the look on my SIL face, upset. She didn’t say anything and just shut herself in the bathroom, then left early later on in the day.

Next day she sends this message to my wife.

“To say I’m disappointed, is an understatement. We have had conversations about how hard infertility is during the holidays, and how hard/debilitating it is. (bro) and I have lost 6 babies. Six. We have six dead children, (wife). Springing you’re pregnant on (bro) and I like that was uncalled for and completely ruined not only mine, but (bro) Christmas. You could’ve sent me a heads up text about this, so we had time to process this. And if your excuse is “oh I didnt want it to ruin the surprise for mom”, you’re wrong. It’s a completely invalid fear. Because I would never ruin a surprise like that. Not only that, but you also saw how that affected me, and you wouldn’t stop talking about it. You’re excited, sure. But read the room (wife). I cant tell you how much that damaged our relationship, and honestly. I don’t know how many holidays I’m going to be there for now because of what you did. What you did was completely selfish and careless. It showed me you really don’t care about me. And honestly, had we gotten a heads up text, I’d be happy for you. But right now? I’m not. You both ruined Christmas for us. Idk why you thought that was such a good idea. You also had AN ENTIRE HOUR to do it before we got there. I had to leave early because I couldn’t stand being there for another minute in a house that I didn’t feel loved in.”

The only time we talked about it was when my family was asking questions, due date, gender, etc., it’s not like we were talking about it throughout the day.

Am I the a**hole (are we the a***holes) for having decided to do the pregnancy announcement anyways?

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