Am I Jerk For Not Giving My Son’s Old Toys To My Ex So His New Kids Could Play With Them.

Source: Reddit

My ex (39M) and I (40F) share a son (20M), we divorced when our son was five because my ex came out to me as gay, right after our divorce my ex became an absent parent for the next six years of my son’s life it was until he settled down with his current husband that he became a way better parent to our son having him 50% of the time and taking care of him.

Even if ex kind of forgot about our son for six years, his parents didn’t, they disowned their son but still wanted to be part of my son’s life, They are wealthy so my son never missed anything in his life, (they even contributed to my son’s college and are even paying for his apartment and expenses so he doesn’t worry about finding a part time job) they got him every type of toys from the ages 3 to 10, those are expensive and amazing toys for a child. My son was so careful as a child so the toys are as good as new, they are all packed and saved in a room at my house waiting for my future grandkids to play with their dad’s old toys.

Here is the thing: my ex married this man, and had kids the twins just turned three and my ex called to say that he’d pick some of my son’s old toys to give them to his kids, I had to call my son to see if he was ok with this and he told me he didn’t really care and I could do what I wanted with the toys, so I told my ex that I decided to keep them for our future grandchildren because they are the ones who have the right to possess what their dad once owned, he called me a jerk for not letting his kids have the toys since my son doesn’t really care much about them and there are kids around who can play with them and this was also a way to connect with their big brother.

I mean I think I’d be a TA if they couldn’t afford it but c’mon ex’s husband is a dermatologist and ex is an engineer, they can afford toys. My husband thinks I’m the AH for the only reason that they are unused now and some other kids could be playing. But there is also a chance these kids are not as careful as my son and can get them broken.

Edit: I want to answer some questions here.

  1. Ex was in fact disowned for being gay
  2. Ex wasn’t present in my son’s life until my son turned 11. That’s when he started buying my son all the toys, those toys from ages 11-16 were donated a couple of years ago. Ex still paid child support.
  3. Ex didn’t sign away his parental rights, the first agreement after the divorce was that I would have my son and he’d visit, but he often skipped the visitations and my son barely saw him for six years.
  4. Ex didn’t cheat
  5. The toys I have stored are for kids in ages from 3-10. ex knows about them because we have improved our relationship over the years and he has visited me a couple of times.
  6. My son sees his little brothers as FAMILY, former in-laws sadly don’t and call them “plastic/synthetic babies”
  7. former in-laws and I don’t have the relationship we used to, they expected me to alone for ever lol, they got mad when I engaged to my fiancé (now husband) because “I wasn’t teaching my son a good example”

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