Much has been said about the problematic mother-in-law through the years, but what if it is the daughter-in-law (or son-in-law, for that matter) who sets the tone of disagreement and friction? You’ll need to step carefully if your relationship with your daughter-in-law is problematic. Scroll down to read the story below to know what happened between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. What would you have done in this situation?
I have a tradition that every June and December, on the first Saturday of the month, I make a traditional dish from my country for my family and friends.
Everyone loves it and it’s a family recipe
My youngest son has been married to Wendy for 3 years (together 1 before). I didn’t know her that well, because they didn’t live here. Wendy is a rising chef
In June, Wendy asked if she could help me make the dish and I said yes… It was my biggest regret. She gave advice on all seasoning choices and even though I said it’s a family recipe, she kept giving her opinion. When that date passed, I made it clear that I would not like any more help (first and last time), she took it personally and our relationship became uncomfortable.
Last month (day 16),, I received an invitation from my son and Wendy to go to their house, because Wendy was going to make this dish. It was the first Sunday in December.
To clarify, this dish is not something you can eat two days in a row, as it is heavy.
Some sent me a message, asking if mine would still happen (they know it’s always the first Saturday) and I confirmed.
On the 20th, I sent the “formal” invitation by message.
My son called as soon as he received it, asking if it would be on the first Saturday and I confirmed and he started saying that people can’t eat two days in a row and if I couldn’t leave it for another week, because Wendy wanted to do it to get closer to the family.
I said no, as it is my tradition and despite finding their choice of date unpleasant, I won’t stop them, but I will continue with the usual dates.
He proceeded to say I’m making things uncomfortable and a week later it wouldn’t bother me and used the coin her invite was before.
I was perplexed and said that everyone knows it’s the first Saturday of the month, including them, so it wouldn’t change all my plans.
Things got uncomfortable, of course. But I kept it, because it’s something that doesn’t just involve me (friends and Family already conformes)
There was a party on Saturday with family/friends (he and Wendy didn’t come) and on Sunday (I didn’t go, because I work that day) many didn’t come and those who did, few ate the food (because they couldn’t eat twice). .
During the week, my son sent a message asking if it was worth it to have done that and upset her, because it spoiled this moment that she wanted to have with our family. He stressed that I could have been the best person, but I preferred not to be.
I don’t think this attack is very fair, but I wanted an outside opinion. It was the best date for all of my family and friends in December as they get to get together before the festivities (for me too). Tradition that has been going on for 10 years.
Added: Many have asked, I apologize for being late. Feijoada is the dish, I know that many people in my country can eat it 2 days in a row, but we know that eating feijoada in a row is the recipe for a beautiful stomach ache, especially mine that comes with many complements.
Did I approach this situation incorrectly?
I don’t mind her doing this, I encourage it, but yeah, I found the choice of dates peculiar, 6 months in the year and any weekend and she chose the only weekend that I always do something to do the same.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: