Family may also be a source of stress and worry, particularly at big life events, holidays or any get togethers. Every lover’s worst dread is meeting their lover’s parents for the first time. It’s nerve-racking, and the pressure to satisfy and make a good first impression can be terrible. Read the story to know what happened when she met her boyfriend’s family for dinner and what do you think the boyfriend should have done?
My parents have a bit of an unusual marriage. My mom is an engineer (petroleum) and my dad is a stay at home dad. He didn’t want to be, he wanted to be a writer but he never made any money off of that and had to stay at home to raise us because my mom was working all the time. He is unhappy staying at home to raise us because he feels less of a man but he can’t contribute any other way. My mom is resentful of my dad never contributing financially and they now hate each other. They consider divorce a sin but if they didn’t they would have divorced long ago.
My gf is a software engineer and very smart and I hate to say it but kind of reminds me of my mom. Very independent and straightforward but not the nurturing type. She admits she wasn’t unsure if she would be a good mom until she got a dog and said he opened up motherly instincts she didn’t know she had. My parents live 8h away so she and I went to visit them for the first time recently for the holidays. I told her about their unfortunate life circumstances but told her not to mention it to them that she knows because my dad is embarrassed by it.
At dinner my dad asked my gf if she knew how to cook and clean and if she knew how to take care of me. She said she did but she expected me to do the same in the household and he told her he didn’t want his son marrying a “strong woman” (different meaning in Mandarin) because they are not good at taking care of their husbands and only know how to make money. I agree it was insulting but she took it too far but shooting back that at least she can make money and contribute financially to the household and not need her partner to be the breadwinner while hating them for it. My dad was stunned into silence and then dinner got really awkward. I got mad at her when we were alone and she got mad at me saying I didn’t defend her and she wasn’t going to meekly let him bash her. She said I failed to protect her against my dad and she was going to tell it like she sees it. I reminded her she wasn’t supposed to say she knew my parents’ situation. I told her in private and made her promise to keep quiet and she snarled back that it was payback for me not defending her. Of course now she has made my dad hate her and didn’t even try to make him get to know her.
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