I 44F have 2 children with my husband (2) boy and (3) girl and a bonus daughter (18F) Emily.
My stepdaughter has been living with us for 6 months this past year. She moved in because she told us her mother kicked her out since they didn’t have a good relationship and her mother said she was too problematic.
Since her moving in, I’ve been very welcoming and I’ve spent more than enough money to help Emily get on her feet, this includes work shoes, comforter sets for her bed, hair products, clothing and underwear. We told her that she could live here as long as she needed, but since her moving here she’s become a burden to both my children and I. My children and I are used to a regimen of waking up, spending time with my husband, him dropping them off to daycare and he goes off to work and when he gets home, I cook, clean and we spend the rest of our night with the kids.
My stepdaughter has become a burden, she has become entitled and whenever she needs anything financially she will ask either myself or my husband. When I bought her work uniform, she kept the job for 3 weeks and then quit because she “didn’t like her co-workers”. She has taken most of my savings, taken the time from my children to my husband and used that time for herself and had been extremely unappreciative for what I’ve done for her. I told her she needed to figure out a living plan because she is 18 and a legal adult and that she needs to start adulting. She mentioned how she was in school (online) and I told her that wasn’t enough since there are more hours in the day and she can do more than just be lazy all day and use her computer as an excuse.
She told me that I am jealous of her relationship with my husband and I reminded her that she’s living in our home rent-free. I told her that she should be lucky that I treat her as my own because not everyone would do such with their stepchild.
My husband thinks I am wrong for saying this to her and that what I did was harsh, but I don’t see how when she is 18 years old and she is grown. Am I Wrong?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: