I (27m) have been living with my girlfriend (29f) for several months now. For the most part things are really good and I plan to propose soon and hopefully have at least a couple of kids with her.
However we’ve run up against a conflict.
She’s an absolute morning person. I hate mornings. By the time I force myself out of bed in the morning and into the shower she’s already been up for at least 30 minutes–even though she has to be at work later than I do–and is at the stove making breakfast. She likes a huge breakfast in the morning. She usually has eggs, either French toast or pancakes, hashbrowns or breakfast potatoes, and sausage or bacon. Sometimes on weekends it’s ham or steak. She eats almost nothing for lunch and usually has a smallish dinner but she loves a huge breakfast.
Meanwhile I only ever have cold cereal for breakfast, or MAYBE if I’m feeling really ambitious some instant oatmeal and orange juice. I only even start to come alive halfway through my second cup of coffee and definitely don’t feel like cooking in the morning.
However my girlfriend obviously does. So recently I asked her if she’d start making breakfast for me, too. She asked if we were going to trade off and if I’d sometimes make breakfast for her, too. I told her “no” but reminded her that I do often make dinner for her. She said that since we trade off making dinner we should trade off making breakfast, too. I told her that there is no way I’ll ever be able to muster that kind of energy first thing in the morning, but that since she obviously can that she should just make me breakfast too. I said that it would take next to no extra effort on her part to throw in a couple more eggs, strips of bacon, an extra portion of hashbrowns, etc since she’s already doing it for herself, anyway. But it started a fight, with her saying that it wasn’t fair for me to expect her to think of me in the morning since I don’t do the same for her.
She seems to think that her making breakfast for me should figure into our division of labor and that I should do something extra in return. But I think that since she makes a huge breakfast for herself every morning anyway that throwing an extra portion of whatever she’s making on for me would take next-to no effort on her part, so why should I have to do more for her in return than I already do?
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