Marriage is based on love, trust, commitment, loyalty, communication, and comprehension. A successful marriage, on the other hand, necessitates individual efforts from both partners. However one can think of ruling the other person. Marriage is not about treating your partner as a slave. Read the story to know why she decided to tk divorce her husband and hope we all understand that marriage is treating one’s partner with utmost respect and love.
My father is the “classic” misogynistic, golden child AH.
His parents pretty much worshipped him and ruined him to the point where my Aunts and Uncles have cut him (and us) out of their lives, last time I saw them was when my little Sister was born.
He runs his own company, so I think it’s pretty safe to say that he has never heard the word “NO” in his life.
Mom, little Sister (17) and myself (F28) are/were essentially his “servants”.
He’d sit in his chair, drink beer and order us around, Scream and yell at us, Mom was afraid of him, Sis and myself too + we grew up that way and all 3 of us HATED it.
I’ve begged Mom to divorce him for years but she didn’t want to because she didn’t want to share custody with him and leave us (and later just Sis) to be treated like crap when we’d have to go to him.
I absolutely understand why she didn’t and appreciate her wanting to protect us even if I didn’t agree with her method.
That all changed December 24th.
Bf(32) and I have been together for 1.5 years (roughly) so this was our first Christmas where we celebrated together.Small note on BF, He is not afraid of anyone and HATES disrespect with a passion.
We walk into my parents house and Dad is in his chair while Mom is working on dinner in the kitchen, Bf goes to Mom to greet her and compliments her on the decorations (massive smile from Mom) and he greets Dad 2nd.
That pissed off Dad but BF has ALWAYS greeted my Mom first unless Dad is significantly closer to him, Dad has complained to me about it because he is “the man of the house and should be greeted first” and more BS like that.
But BF has told me that this is how he was raised (By an amazing woman, single Mom of 2, Older sister and him) and he’s not changing anything and I don’t see why he should.
BF took an interest in Mom’s cooking which smelled AMAZING and I saw Mom light up like i have not seen before, Answering questions, explaining things, sharing tips between them (he is a really good cook too), Absolutely lovely to see.
We sat down in the living room, Sis came downstairs and joined us, had a great time together and pretty much ignored Dad who was glued to the TV as per usual.
Mom asked if anyone wanted something to drink and BF jumped up and said “You’ve worked hard on the food, It’s your time to relax, i’ll get it”, he took our “order” and went to the kitchen, Dad wanted Beer.
Bf asked him what beer he wanted since there are a lot of different ones in the fridge and dad said (in an angry tone) “Just grab one, i don’t care”
Bf comes back with a bottle of wine and 2 glasses for Mom and myself in 1 hand and Sister’s drink in the other, Went back into the kitchen to grab the beer and his own drink.
Put the beer on the table infront of dad, Dad stands up and yells “That’s it, i will NOT be disrespected like this in my own house!!!”
Mom, Sis and me just “shrunk” but BF turned around and said “I asked what beer you wanted and you said just grab one, What’s the problem?” Dad: “It’s not about the beer, I got served last in my own house?You will NOT disrespect me like that!!!”
BF: “First off, I got served last, in fact, i’ve not even put my drink down, and what did you want me to do? Did you want me to (actually did airquotes) “disrespect” your wife or your daughters instead? I have 2 hands, both were full” and he turned around and sat down.
Dad tried to respond but just stuttered and pretty much ran upstairs, BF continued the conversation like nothing happened until Dad slammed the door and BF said “Well, That door is shut”, broke the tension and we laughed.
It was like THAT was the moment something changed for Mom
A bit later we sat down for dinner, I went to go get Dad, told him dinner was ready and he snarled “I’m not coming”, we used to beg him to come down (not the first time he’s pulled this stunt) but after seeing BF stand up to him, i just said OK and went back down.
We had an amazing dinner with Mom, Bf, Sis and myself.
Afterwards we sat down in the living room for the gifts, Mom went up to get Dad again and came back down not even 30 seconds later and sat on the floor with us to open the gifts.
We had so much fun opening the gifts, Laughing, Drinking, throwing wrapping paper at each other, just having fun without a care in the world (which i’ve NEVER seen Mom do).
Hours later, my BF and I were heading back home, Mom pulled us both in for a MASSIVE hug (seriously, massive “Mom hugs” are something else) and thanked us for “The best Christmas she has had in YEARS”.
While driving home, Sis texted me a picture of her and Mom, on the floor watching a movie surrounded by a mess which is weird because Mom always had to clean and keep everything “perfect” or dad would yell and call her (or us) lazy.
But Mom was “cleaning it tomorrow” (HELL YES MOM!!!!).
That all leads to today,
Mom called and asked if her and Sis could come over to discuss something.
They arrived and…..WOW!!!
Mom has had “simple” mid back long hair, no color, no “flavour”, just as simple as possible for as long as i’ve been alive,
But now, Shoulder length “bob” with some “lowlights”, absolutely STUNNING!!!
All the sadness and fear on her face, GONE, Still Mom, but an absolutely GORGEOUS version of Mom.
She told us that she’s going to see a divorce lawyer on the 9th and will try to” find a place and move out as soon as possible.
After a long discussion on how she wants to do everything, we asked her, why now?
She said (and i’m proud and so f***ing happy she said this) “At Christmas something changed for me, To see “BF’s name” stand up to dad like THAT, And the way BF always treats you, your sister and me with so much love and respect,
BF actually treats me like i’m my own person and i have not felt like that in a long time, With you 2, i’m Mom, Don’t get me wrong, i absolutely LOVE being Mom for you 2, but i’m more than just Mom, I was either Mom or Dad’s wife (which is true, he would always introduce her as “My wife, name”, NEVER “Name, my wife”, It might not seem like a big deal, but to her it is/was)
I have not been “Mom’s name” in a long time, I’ve had enough, i’m not letting him treat me like this anymore, i’m not in love with him anymore, in fact, i haven’t been in love for a very long time, i don’t even have love for him anymore.
But Sis is old enough now and with the 2 of you and “Bf’s name” with me, I can do it”.
I’m so damn proud of my Mom for standing up for herself now,
I’m so damn happy that my BF was able to make her feel like her own person again when he didn’t even try.
I’m so damn happy that Mom, Sis and myself NEVER have to be treated like shit by that man again.
I’m just so F***ING HAPPY!!!!
IF you feel like you’re stuck in a similar situation as my Mom, YOU CAN GET OUT, YOU CAN FEEL LIKE YOU AGAIN, DO IT!!!
Find the love for YOURSELF again, whether that is because someone else showed you that you’re worth it, because you read my (and Mom’s) story or because you found the love for yourself, within yourself again.
YOU CAN DO IT!!! Find YOU again, and BE HAPPY AGAIN!!!
Happy new year everyone!!
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