Weddings should be joyous gatherings that honour the love of two individuals. However in this story when a bride-to-be refused to make an exception for her nephew, who is a “rainbow baby,” she generated a lot of family conflict. Read the story and let us know what you think of the situation.
I (f, 33) am getting married come October to my fiance Derek. Wedding planning went okay but as soon as we started sending out invitations the problems began coming our way. Thing is Derek and I decided the wedding would be childfree, it wasn’t out of the blue and this possibility was there.
I have a 42-yrs-old brother Paul who’s married but he and his wife suffered from several miscarriages and failed pregnancies during their marriage. They finally were blessed with a son that everyone calls a miracle and a rainbow baby. My nephew is 4-yrs-old and everyone salutes him and treats him as a king and also turns a blind eye to any misbehavior he has which causes him to become loud, destructive, out of control and punish-less.
When Paul received the invitation and found out kids weren’t included he and mom lost it and decided on an urgent meeting with me and Derek. Paul said “my son is an exception, right?” I said no and this rule is to be followed by everyone. He argued that I was making a mistake by excluding my nephew. He and mom went on about how he’s a miracle since he’s their rainbow baby/grandbaby then Paul said he had no problem with my wedding being child free but expects me to make an exception for his son. He explicitly said “you can have your “child free wedding” but you’re gonna have to make an exception for my son and you know why”.
Derek apologized and said we won’t since our friends and my in-laws had kids too but now have to leave them home and arrange for babysitters and advised him to do the same. Paul was offended and said if his son isn’t invited then he won’t come and gave us an ultimatum to drop out if we don’t edit his invitation. That caused my family to freak out because Paul is the only and oldest sibling I have and they said his presence at the wedding is a must.
I had an argument with mom and dad who said the fact I’m choosing this to be my hill to die on and treating Paul and my nephew like that was appalling. They emphasized how my nephew is special and I should be ashamed to exclude him even when the wedding is child free.
My parents said if Paul won’t come they won’t come either which devastated me a lot and caused me to break down. Derek said they were the ones being unreasonable and disrespectful of our wedding and we should wait, maybe they’ll come around eventually but they’ve doubled down. This morning my aunt and uncle dropped out as well as my other uncle last week. Paul told everyone and they’re supporting him and won’t come unless I make an exception for my nephew but that will upset my guests and they’ll call me hypocrite. My family is divided saying I’m ruining my own wedding basically saying this is all on me.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: