“But He Still Loves My Body, Because He Made My Body That Way.”
“I got the man. I had his baby. I got the diamond ring. And I’ll get his last name too.
I have things that no one else ever will have. Others have things from him that I’ll never get, his first kiss, the last dance at homecoming, his past. Others got the boy I fell in love with when I was 15 but was too afraid to say anything to him. But I’m the one who got the man he grew into.
I’m not as beautiful and put-together as I used to be. I wish I had the time to get ready every morning. I love makeup, ask my friends, I have a mini ULTA in my bathroom. And I love having my hair done; but it’s in a messy bun everyday and hasn’t been colored in nearly 7 months. All the time I could spend getting ready and being beautiful everyday is spent breastfeeding, changing poopy diapers, and wiping spit up off my floors. And since we’re being honest, I’m lucky if I get the chance to brush my teeth before noon.
But he still kisses me, he still tells me I’m beautiful. He still loves my body, it’s not as tight and toned as it used to be after it grew a human. My boobs will never be the same, I used to take so much pride in those girls, but they feed his baby now and he loves me for being so dedicated to giving his baby the best. I tuck my belly into the waistband of my jeans and I wear one piece bathing suits now. But he still loves my body, because he made my body that way. I’m tired, the laundry and dirty dishes are never ending, and I’m ready for bed at 9:00 every night. But he still loves me, he still goes to work to support me and our family, he is still helping me get through nursing school, he still comes home to me, he still chooses me.
If I could go back in time and get his past and claim it as mine, I would. But I can’t. I have something better though. I have his future. I have the diamond ring, I have his child and I’ll have his future children. Next summer, I’ll get his last name. I will always have his heart, and that’s something no one will ever take from me. I love that man more than I’ve ever loved anyone else in my life. He’s my soulmate. He’s my man.”