Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mother’s Day Celebration He’d Planned.
Healthy boundaries are critical in love and familial relationships if everyone is to thrive. Setting these limits now requires honest heart-to-heart dialogue when you witness someone you care about doing something that irritates you. Read this story to know why the father cancelled the surprised mother’s day party and let us know if you agree with his decision.
I (M/37) have a 13 y.o son. I was a widower when I met my now wife. She has a 16 y.o daughter from another relationship. The family is often on pretty good terms. My son is the quiet one in the house, he keeps to himself a lot but not to the point of being concerned. My wife and stepdaughter are the complete opposite. They both encourage him to be outgoing and share activities and join gatherings with extended family.
My son complained about having to be forced out of his comfort zone and having his need for space invalidated. I spoke to both my wife and stepdaughter and asked them to give him space and freedom to spend his time however he wanted. They apologized and promised to let him be.
As mother’s day was approaching I wanted to throw my wife a surprise mother’s day celebration. It was no longer a surprise because my stepdaughter gave her the heads so she could prepare. Yesterday I got off work earlier than usual to get final arrangements done (we planned to celebrate at the restaurant and invited her family there) I had the key and while I was entering the house through the front door I overheard my wife and stepdaughter talking to my son.
My wife was asking my son if he could convince me to let him stay home and not go with them to the restaurant to celebrate. I paused and decided to keep listening. My son said why and she told him that his introverted and socially inept “attitude” will make her family uncomfortable and will ruin the mood. He promised her that he’d be well behaved and would try to interact and socialize with everyone but she said that she wasn’t buying it.
He kept reassuring her but she snapped and told him that technically, she’s not his mom so she didn’t get why he wanted to celebrate mother’s day with her so badly. My stepdaughter threw some (I don’t remember) backhanded comments and then both of them were shocked to see me standing there. Both were staring without saying anything.
I told my son and his stepsister to go to their rooms then told my wife that the celebration was off, cancelled. She tried to argue asking why repeatedly and I told her why. She tried to explain that she didn’t mean it like that and that I only heard part of the conversation but not all of it. I told her I was done arguing and the decision was already made. She yelled asking what she was going to tell her family and said that I was making a tremendous mistake towards her.
I ignored her while she kept throwing tantrum after tantrum. Early this morning she took my stepdaughter and went to stay with her folks. not a single call or text from her so far. Situation is full of tension. I’m still upset but more hurt to be honest. I mean yes I did say I was going to have this celebration but I thought that what she said to my son was too harsh to ignore. What are your opinions? What should I do?
What would you do in his situation? Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: