Wedding planning can be a stressful experience for all in the family, regardless of if they are the bride or groom. One father in this story was in a tricky situation: His daughter is graduating from college on the same day as his stepson’s wedding. Read the story and what would you do in such a situation.
I M43 dad of 2 (Traci bio 22, and Sean Step 24) Traci’s mom is deceased. I’m the only family left for her since she doesn’t have any close relatives, they all live away and are always in and out touch with us. Sean and I are on great terms. I met his mom when he was 17. Now he’s about to get married although his fiancee seems a bit controlling and overall rude.
Traci is about to finish her last year in college. Her graduation is in may. She’s given me a specific date and wanted me and her stepmom to be there to share her happiness. Sean and his fiancee have been busy planning their wedding. He visited us yesterday to tell us about it. He said he, his fiancee, and her mom agreed on the wedding to be on X day this may. I was taken aback. I told Sean to repeat the date and it turned out it’s the same day as Traci’s graduation day. The same day…I just paused for a minute.
My wife didn’t notice so I reminded them both that Traci’s graduation is on X day this may. Sean looked at me and said he already knows but his fiancee and her mom wanted a specific venue and it’s only available on that day of the month. The argument started. I asked him how exactly he was expecting me to attend when I’m already invited to Traci’s graduation.
My wife said we could attend the graduation and the wedding on the same day. But I called her illogical since I’ll have to drive 4 hrs to attend the graduation (Traci lives in the city) . I asked Sean if he could postpone since he wants me there so desperately. He threw a fit saying he can’t and this will cause an issue with his mother in law
He suggested that I ‘postpone’ my daughter’s graduation party. What the hell!. I can’t do that! It’s totally out of my hand. Sean never went to college (his choice) but he should know graduations can not be postponed. He and my wife stared at me after I said that he needed to think of another date for his wedding otherwise I won’t attend cause I want to see my daughter graduate college, it’s a big deal.
My wife took it as Traci was more important to me but I pointed out that Traci didn’t pick the date nor can she control it but Sean can control when to have his wedding. She lashed out saying there’s blatant favouritism on display here and I shouldn’t try to downplay the importance of Sean getting married since it’s a once in a life event as well. I got so mad at her for indirectly asking me to miss Traci’s graduation to show up and support Sean on his big day.
Sean was angry and left the house later. My wife kept arguing with me about what I told Sean and that I hurt his feelings and made it clear who the ‘golden child’ is. I told her it wasn’t my fault And I’m literally stuck in this situation. Yet she still claims I mishandled the entire situation. Until this very moment I have no idea what kind of response she and Sean wanted to hear from me. They said it’s my fault when his mother in law is the one running the show. Was I wrong for what I said?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: