My mother always told me she kicked my dad out because he was beating her and was going to beat me. Hint, he didn’t.
She lied to her lawyer and told him that my father touched me sexually (he didn’t but she also didn’t believe when I did tell her I was raped as a child by someone else).
Our home had no hot water or running toilets growing up.
Most of the house was filled with trash and dead rodents. When we moved to an apartment she would sleep in the living room so that her room could filled with shit for whenever the landlord came over.
Until I was well into my teens, all of my emails were forwarded to her, she said it was to protect me from my dad.
Constantly guilt trips me and blames every bad thing that happened on my father.
Let a psychiatrist over medicate me on clonazepam and lexapro (I was a minor and over the max dosage) until I tried to kill myself at 18 because she never worked and I was just done. Of course, she used this to bring me in further under her control.
Never worked saying she had to take care of me.
She was kicked out of my aunt and uncles house and spent the last 3 years feeding me poison words to keep me angry at my father once I lived with him.
Told everyone I was 3-5 years behind developmentally.
Told me my father was only good for money.
Told me my father did not want me and wasn’t capable of love.
There’s more but I just needed to tell someone. For the past 3 months in quarantine I have been living with my dad, and am slowly starting to realize he won’t beat me or hurt me when he’s angry like I’ve been led to believe. I’m realizing that when my mother told me that he only had me to look good to his friends it was a lie.
I do not love my mother nor do I even like her.
My mother abused me and tried to convince me it was all from my fathers supposed abuse.
My mind has been broken and fractured for 23 years at her hand. But I just turned 24 and I won’t let it continue.
She’s a monster.