Each family is free to develop their own traditions and festivities. You may pretty much do whatever you want on your birthday as long as you’re not breaking the law. But this mother has a unique arrangement. Evidently, her children’s birthdays have always acted as a reminder of how much they owe their mother for giving birth to them. And she goes so far that she receives better gifts than her children. Read the story and do you agree with this absurd unique arrangement.
I have three siblings between the ages of 10 and 18. I’m the oldest fourth at 25. Every year on every single one of our birthdays, we’re expected to celebrate my mom as well. We’ve done it since we were little. It was taught to me as ‘giving thanks for carrying + giving birth to us’. Which I’m all for, I am grateful as we wouldn’t be here without her. The issue is though, it becomes less of our birthday and more-so an anniversary for the day our mom gave birth.
Every year on our birthday our mom gets gifts too. As we got older, we’re now expected to get her monetary gifts (and not cards, or homemade stuff). Just recently was my birthday and I was gifted some much needed clothes and dishware for my new apartment. My dad however got my mom a new macbook. My siblings all got her gifts too.
My youngest brother isn’t expected to give much, but my 16 year old sister and 18 year old 2nd brother work so they’re expected to give gifts too. My sister pulled me aside before my birthday and said she was sorry she couldn’t get me much (she got me a sweater, I love it!) and that she wanted to get me more but our mom was pressuring her to get a certain necklace for our mom. Apparently my mom had been dropping hints for months and my sister was worried our mom would be upset and feel underappreciated if she didn’t get it.
I asked how much it was, and my sister said it was $300. I honestly lost it on our mom and chewed into her later that afternoon when my mom opened her gifts after me. I think she’s ridiculous for even wanting my sister to spend so much on a gift! Mom started crying and my dad kicked me out. Mom won’t answer calls but my aunt (mom’s sister) called and said I was a POS for not respecting my mother and that I’m a selfish, narcissist child for being jealous of the gifts mom got.
I thought I was in the right, but now I don’t know. It’s been over two weeks and mom won’t answer my calls. She’s been posting inspirational quotes on facebook about letting go of the toxicity in your life, how blood doesn’t equal family, and how hard it is to be a mother. Several family members (aunt, grandma, uncle, and two of my cousins) are replying to the posts and are very obviously directing vague comments at me about being a horrible daughter… Idk what to think now because of how many people are on her side :/.
What are your opinions? I need some advice on if I’m wrong.