As of today, I’ve stopped giving a f**k about my “potential”. My “low level” job makes me happier than anything.
To make a long story short, I have had a lot of achievements in life. People viewed me as someone very smart with a lot of potential. I know that sounds braggy, so I don’t want to elaborate too much, but it is relevant.
I planned to become a nurse practitioner. To get my feet wet in the healthcare industry, I became a caretaker. A stepping stone if you will. I always felt so much pressure to go to school and work on my degree.
My current job is I take care of people in hospice. I help them do things like eat, shower, and yes, clean them up after they use the bathroom. Most people would be surprised by this, but my job is the highlight of my life. I feel privileged to be able to care for someone at the end of their life. I have held hands of people dying with no family around. I have pretty low self esteem, but one thing I’ve always loved about myself is my compassion. I was MADE for this. Every day I can tell myself that I am a good person for what I do for others.
I took care of my dad in hospice, I think he would be proud to see me help others through that, degrees be damned. People call my job “low level” because it just requires a 6 week long class and a test for a certificate, and it involves a lot of things most people don’t want to do, like wiping butts. But the people I care for LOVE me, and I love them. That love fills my heart so completely.
Not continuing my education was simply not an option. Until today. I don’t want to be a nurse, at least for now. I don’t want to be a nurse practitioner. Right now I want to help another human by doing exactly what I do – I’m happy.
One day I may change my mind and further my education. But right now I am so happy and fulfilled in my job, why change that? Some idea of “potential”? I’m caring for people and that’s what matters. I’m not saying nurses/nurse practitioners don’t care for people, I’m saying I like the WAY I do it in my job. My job gives me the opportunity to be the most involved with the patients. My job is a job of love, that’s what I was called to do.
Today I accepted I am happy where I’m at. I don’t care if people think it’s low level. It just doesn’t matter anymore. I’m happy.