One of life’s greatest joys is the bond between a father and his daughter. Her father will always be there to encourage and love her, regardless where she goes in life. But that’s not always the case. Read the story to know how this father daughter relationship was and what do you think the daughter should do?
My dad and my mom have been divorced since I was about 4 years old – my sister (30f) and I (26f) have spent every second weekend at his place when we were younger. He finally remarried when I was about 10. My dad has never really treated us well – he is a police officer and had always had anger issues and his wife never liked us (doesn’t like kids in general, also some jealousy).
When we got older my dad’s and my relationship got progressively worse over time. Then my sister fell pregnant during covid and had a difficult birth experience – that’s when he stepped up and started caring for her, her fiancé and their baby (now 2m). He calls them to ask them how they are doing and to schedule family dinners. Never call me though. Sometimes my sister would invite me along to go visit him. He has called me about once to get insurance info which I have because of my job. Last October I got pregnant with my daughter, he didn’t even react. I called him to let him know before announcing on social media out of courtesy and his reply was something along the lines of „ah ok“. Anyway I was pretty bummed and didn’t try to get in contact any further.
Then in January 2022 I changed my last name to my mother‘s maiden name because I think it’s prettier and fits along better as a combination with my husband’s name (we chose to have a double name after our wedding). I posted about it on social media and my aunts flipped out and scolded me for changing my name and asking me if I had told my father about it. Then my father texted me a screenshot (which his sister sent him – he doesn’t have social media) to ask me about it. I replied in a friendly way that it wasn’t because I didn’t want his name anymore but because it was easier with the double name. He then got mad – then I got mad and told him that if our relationship was better, I would have told him and that he never showed any interest in my life so I didn’t think it was necessary to inform him. After that he stopped replying and we went no contact.
In April I had my wedding (he got the invite in October) – he never RSVP‘d, so I had my sister ask him if he would come. Fast forward none of the members of his family showed up except for my grandfather and half uncle. I plan on continuing to not be in contact with them and not have them meet my daughter who will be born in august except she specifically states the wish to meet her grandfather when she’s older. He has always belittled me and destroyed my self worth when I was younger and it’s still affecting me until today. Later I additionally questioned myself and keep comparing myself to my sister (who I think is great – she’s my best friend and we love each other a lot but it’s still hard for me to see how he treats her in comparison)