The mother-son dance is more than a custom. It’s a way for the groom to express his gratitude to his mother, his first love, for rearing him. Read the article to find out what occurred in this family when it came to the mother-son dance, and do you think the boy made the correct decision?
My dad is married to Anne. Anne hates my mom. My siblings and I do not regard Anne as our parent because we were 11, 12 and 14 when we met her and when our dad married her. Now, there’s some history to be explored before we get into the specific incident.
Dad used the time my siblings and I were with mom to build his relationship with Anne and eventually, her son. They were practically engaged before we met her and we met her son at their engagement party. They moved in the very next day and they were married two months later. We spent equal time with mom and dad. But because of our ages and them being so new to us we did not get super close to Anne or her son at that time. Anne’s son ended up diagnosed with a form of cancer that was more likely due to a longer term medical condition he was born with. Anne was away a lot with her son to get him treatment and she was with him out of state in one of the big Children’s Hospitals where they specialize in cancers. Mine and my siblings life carried on as normal for the most part. When we were with mom, life was totally normal.
Anne’s son died while we were on vacation with our mom. We were 17, 15 and 14 at the time. Anne was furious that mom took us. She had wanted us to stay because her son had wanted more time with us but mom had already booked the vacation and we still wanted to go. We were not close to Anne’s son and we didn’t have a familial bond with him. Anne never got over it and was especially bitter because we were not closer to her after and because most of us chose mom’s house over dad’s for staying at when we finished high school and wanted to come home. She was resentful that we weren’t rallying around her and letting her still feel like a parent.
Now I’m getting married. Anne despises my mom more than ever and when she heard I was doing a mother-son dance at my wedding, she told me she wanted to do one too and deserved to do one if I was doing something with “that woman”. I told her “that woman” is my mom and I wanted to dance with her. I told her we (dad’s wife and I) would not be dancing together. She asked how I could say that to her when she lost her only biological child and we didn’t give her the chance to continue being a parent. I told her it was not my job.
She said it was like she was a stranger, like we weren’t family. I told her if she wanted us to be closer she should have made sure dad introduced us all before they were ready to get engaged but we never built up the relationship before they were married and we were all a little older when they did and not there all the time. She told me I was breaking her heart saying no to her and how could I be so thoughtless after what she’s lost. Am I A Jerk?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: