Animals can be amazing, and some of them are smarter than you’d think. The parrot in this story sure has brains to spare – and his hilarious reaction to this couple doing the dirty has me in stitches!
37 year old Terry is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. What’s strange is that the parrot doesn’t seem to have any feet or legs. Terry says aloud, “Sheesh. I wonder what happened to this parrot?”
The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.”
“Holy cow,” Terry replies, “You actually understood and answered me!”
“I got every word,” says the parrot, “I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird.”
“Oh yeah?”, he asks, “Then answer this – how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”
“Well,” the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my johnson around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my feathers.”
“Wow,” says Terry, “you really can understand and speak English, can’t you!?”
“Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I’m especially good at ornithology. You really should buy me. I’d be a great companion.”
Terry looks at the $200 price tag. “Sorry, but I just can’t afford that.”
“Pssssssst,” whispers the parrot, “I’m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me ’cause I don’t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!”
He offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he’s insightful.
Terry is delighted. One day he comes home from work and the parrot goes “Psssssssst,” and motions him over with one wing. “Listen, Terry. I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife and the postman.”
“What are you talking about?” asks Terry.
“When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightgown and kissed him passionately.”
“WHAT???” Terry asks incredulously. “THEN what happened?”
“Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began caressing her all over,” reported the parrot.
“Oh my God!” Terry exclaims, “Then what?”
“Then he lifted up her nightie, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down…”
“WELL???” Terry demands, now completely frantic, “THEN WHAT HAPPENED?”
“Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch.”
SHARE if you laughed!