You know how people are always rehoming dogs for literally anything they do? Well, next time you want to get rid of your dog, recall this story and photo:
Frank is an angry pooter.
Things he has pooted on when mad at me; pillow, bed, couch, shoes, literally a pack of crackers, inside my purse, in my suitcase, and on top of a make up bag.
His aim is remarkable for a dog that takes multiple tries to jump on the couch and often falls off while licking his own butthole.
And he knows how to really hurt you.
Like pooting in your single pair of running shoes when he knows that you will blindly reach for them because you, a complete and total adult, always leave your shoes in the same spot, thus ensuring maximum damage as you endure skin to poot contact.
I seriously spent ten minutes scrubbing my dooty hand and crying, both about the dooty and the ruined shoes and the fact that this fat f**k of a dog has been tormenting me for seven years.
But I still love him.
And I’ll probably spend the next seven years finding and cleaning up his angry poots. Because I picked that a**hole out of a whole litter and made him a part of our family, and you can’t unfamily someone just because they poot in your shoe.