“Husband Announced To Me That He Was Gay & Our Marriage Was Over. We’d Been Together For 7 Years & I Never Suspected A Thing.”
(This story was sent to us by Kennedy).
In 2020 my husband announced to me that he was gay & our marriage was over. It was very out of the blue, we’d been together for 7 years & I never suspected a thing.
We sold our house & went our separate ways. We’re still married as current UK laws don’t recognise one spouse being gay as a valid reason to get divorced! Fortunately the law is changing in April & I’m counting down the days. I haven’t spoken to him in over 8 months & frankly I hope I never talk to him again.
I know he can’t help who he is, but why did he have to drag me into it?! It’s not the heartbreak that got me, I was over that a long time ago. It’s trying to terms with the fact that our entire life was built around a lie. We had a home together, a life, we were going to start a family. But none of it was real. He stood at an alter & said those vows KNOWING that I wasn’t what he really wanted. I feel like Neo, waking up & realising your whole life never really happened – at least not how you thought it did.
The real kicker is how used I felt. For years I cooked all his meals, I washed his clothes, I played nice with his evil narcissistic mother, I carried the full financial burden whilst he got fired from THREE different jobs. I had to borrow money just to be able to keep up the mortgage payments.
All I ever wanted was a home & a family of my own. He pretended he wanted the same. He even confessed after we split that he never wanted children, he just said it to keep me happy.
If he had left me alone, I could have had it. I could have met somebody who actually loved me, I could have had children by now, I could have been happy!! But he stole that from me. He knowingly STOLE the best years of my life & then left me holding the bill so I can’t even afford to start over properly for another few years.
So here I am, almost 33, living in shared housing with a group of 20 year olds, trying to work my way out of all this debt.
This is not the life I wanted. The resentment is absolutely killing me. I spent months in therapy, but it could only help so much. I don’t want to feel this way anymore.