Nearly a decade ago I was going through a really rough patch and I took a drive out to a bridge. Looking back I don’t think I actually had intent on following through with it, but I drove up to it and parked my car. I never got out of my car. I just sat there. Engine off. Lights off. I just stared straight ahead for 30 minutes thinking some very very dark thoughts. My phone chimed. It was my then-girlfriend asking if I was working overtime and if so when was I planning on being home so she could have supper ready for me. I snapped. I turned into a sobbing, heaving mess sitting in my car. How could I have been so selfish?
I stayed there for another 30 minutes just trying compose myself. When I got home I just gave her a big bear hug and went to enjoy the hot meal sitting on the table waiting for me. I’ve never had a better tasting meal then that plate of pork chops, veggies and rice.
I ended up proposing to her a few years later and every day I wake up next to her I feel like I’ve won a lottery. She has no idea what she did that night. She knew I was going through a rough spot, but I don’t think she knows how deep I actually was. The only reason I haven’t told her is because she’s diagnosed bipolar and has enough on her plate as-is. I accompany her to therapy and wait in the waiting room for her and I’ve read extensively about her condition and how best to support somebody in her position. I figure it’s the absolute minimum I can do to even begin pay back the wonderful gift she gives me every single day I wake up.