He’s from a small town, raised in the 80s. He’s from a good family, but they still had weaknesses. For example, they were very much a “boys don’t cry” family.
My husband is a sensitive man. He tries to hide it because of how he was raised. But for the ten years we’ve been together I’ve pushed him to stop denying his feelings.
I gave birth to our first child 7 months ago. It was a really hard birth, super traumatic. I was in labor for four days, I refused any meds for 3 days and 12 hours because I was hoping for a natural birth. So my husband was in a front row seat watching me be in the worst pain of my life.
I only remember flashes of the labor because it was so painful. One vivid memory is when they gave me oxygen to get my energy up. I had just gotten the painkillers I was desperately trying to avoid so I was able to focus on things other than pain for once. There were nurses all around me, because I had an infection and my blood pressure was a mess and a bunch of other fun things.
I noticed my husband was crying. Full blown crying. I took his hand and asked him what was wrong. He said, “I am so sorry I am so closed off about my feelings. I promise I’ll work on it. I promise I’ll be a better man for you. I will share my feelings I will be open about my fears.” Even the nurses looked really touched by his vulnerability.
I laughed and said, well, dingus, you’re literally crying and being open emotionally right now and you’re doing a great job so I’m not sure why you’re apologizing. It was a sweet moment and, hours later I gave birth.
Now all these months later, I’m nursing our boy in the bedroom, my husband comes in all teary eyed and says, “I just thought about your birth again and how incredibly strong you are and how much I love you and our son and how scary that was. I am scared of death and how I could lose either of you. I love you.”
We held each other with our son in my lap, it was such a grand moment. I am so so grateful to have such a sensitive and strong and supportive partner.