My wife and I were thinking of separating after moving two states away for her job. Then she got diagnosed with cancer. I couldn’t divorce her in those circumstances. I felt like I was essentially losing her twice, while working 56 hour weeks to keep us afloat when she couldn’t. I was alone except for her, struggling not to resent her and repair our marriage, and exhausted and anxious all the time. I dropped 30 pounds without intent and was at some points selling my plasma to make rent.
But she survived, so far cancer-free, and so did our marriage, and we moved back home, and now I have custody of my son from my first marriage and we each have better jobs. We’ve forgiven each other and built a comfortable, stable life for our family. I would do it all again if I had to.
This was worse than boot camp, worse than divorce, worse than my mom dying, and worse than my year deployed to Afghanistan.