If being a stay at home mom while raising children and balancing obligations wasn’t difficult enough, a lack of support from a loved one may add to the stress. In the story a mom of 3 kids had a huge argument during a family dinner. Read the story and let us know what would you do in her situation? Any advice.
To begin I’d like to mention that my husband (39) is the breadwinner (he works in airlines as a pilot/always working) while I’m a stay at home mom taking care of our home and our 3 kids (5yrs, 3yrs, 6months).
Lately we’ve having few arguments about him complaining about me not taking care of myself/looks and being always busy with chores and whatnot.
We got invited to my parents house last night. once we sat down for dinner. Mom, sister and I started talking about preparations for my sister’s wedding. My sister talked about her hair, makeup, dress etc.
My husband kept giving me looks and raising his eyebrow whenever the words “haircut” or “makeup” or “new dress” got brought up. He decided to pitch in the conversation and started openly criticizing my current look and how “unladylike” I’ve become recently especially after our third child was born. He went on commenting on how much he’d like me to change my hair color, get my nails done or buy new “nice” dresses to wear like other wives do for once.
I was stunned, mouth wide open. And so were my parents. Bil was laughing secretly and my sister looking at me head to toe a in “poor sister” type of way. My husband didn’t stop at that and ranted about how I should start taking care of “us” and be more energetic, positive, outgoing, sexy and so on and so on. Then he looked at me and asked why I’ve come to be so unladylike all of a sudden. And kept looking at me in a “what ever happened to you?/what changed?” Type of way.
I was….mad. I loudly said “behind every unladylike, miserable woman…there’s a trashy, negative as#$%le man”. And pointed out what changed and that is him not pulling enough weight in child care, delaying, making excuses and putting house chores upon me constantly while he posts on facebook about what an amazing work he does to provide for us. I cook, clean, wash, do laundry, get up with the baby and feed and change and bath and so on. He reminded me that I’m the STAHP and he’s the money maker. I’ve pointed out that there are a LOT of dads who are money makers and still do their part as partners and parents.
He was stunned, dumbfounded as everyone was looking at him in an awkward and embarrassing way. He got quiet the rest of the visit. Just looking down and avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.
He blew up in the car asking what the hell possessed me to go off on him like that in front of his in-laws who now have a very “false”, very “misleading” impression of him. He said no matter what happens I should never share our private issues with my family. I reminded him of who brought it up first and he called me petty for making a scene to get back at him only for giving me some innocent advice. He’s sulking… did I go too far? Did I over react ?
What would you do in her situation? Any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: