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“I (27f) Was Asked Out On A Date By An Older Man (80s?) – Why Do I Feel Sad”

Source: Reddit

I just started going to a dance class in my area because I want to make new friends. This dance class is really fun and at the end they open it up so anyone can dance with whoever. I got asked to dance by this older man who must have been in his 70s or 80s and he was extremely nice. He did not seem creepy at all. I got total sweet grampa vibes. He was showing me things I can do to improve and I had a great time.

At the end he asked to walk me to my car and then he said “you have to come dancing with us! Can I get your number?” I was really caught off guard but the way he phrased it seemed friendly so I said yes. Then a few days later he called me twice and left a voicemail inviting me to a dance event. I called him back and he explained this whole thing. I said “are you asking me on a date or are you going with a group of friends?” And he said no it would be a date. I told him no thank you.

I’m newly single and I don’t want to date right now. But then he said oh well that’s ok we can drive separately we don’t have to put the pressure of a date on it please just think about it and call me later. Then he kept talking and eventually I told him I checked my schedule and I’m actually busy that day but I hope he finds someone else to go with. Then he said he had to go and we ended the call. Afterwards I felt this immense sadness and shame? And it feels so creepy.

Like I know just asking someone out on a date is not inherently creepy but our age difference made me feel so weird. Also I don’t know if I am being ageist? Has anyone experienced this or can relate?

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