“I Just Found Out How My Parents Really Met And I Need Help”
Does age really matter in love? Is it ok for a girl dating a really matured guy? Here is a story below about a huge age difference love story. (This story was sent to us by Savannah).
I was going through some old photo albums. I found a picture of my mom aged around 8-10 and some dude who looked just like my dad. I took the picture to her and she confessed everything.
The story they tell everyone is that they met when my mom was 18 and my dad 29 at a party hosted by a mutual acquaintance. They started dating a few months later, got married when my mom was 25 and had me three years later.
I found out that my dad was the younger brother of a friend of my grandparents (the dude in the picture), and they actually knew each other since my mom was about 6 and my dad 18. They started dating when my mom turned 15 and because of that her parents kicked her out of the house and cut contact with her.
I am so disgusted with everyone involved but especially with my dad. How can I look him in the eye again knowing he probably groomed my mom from a very young age? How do you even find someone you knew as a child attractive?
The first thing I did was have a talk with my mom. I waited until my dad left the house and we both sat down and had a really good talk. I asked her if she was safe, if she was happy and if she felt loved and cared for in their relationship. She said she does. I asked her if, should things go wrong, she would have money and means to get out of the relationship. She does. I expressed concern about how their relationship started, she said she understood if I needed some time to process and that if I had any questions, she would answer them honestly.
After my dad got home, I talked to him. I still am having troubles with my idea of him and who I found out he is. I don’t think our relationship will ever be the same again and he said he understood. I asked him to be honest with me and if he had any attraction towards small children or even teenagers, he said he doesn’t, my mom was a kindred spirit sort of love.
Last thing I did was give my uncle a call. He lives in a different country and we talked for a bit. He said I am welcome to visit him anytime and I might take him up on it. He was there for my dad through the beginning of the relationship so I will get some outside perspective.
As for my grandparents, I asked my mom about it and she said they had mended their relationship a couple of years before I was born. I don’t have a lot of memories of them, but they always seemed very kind. I don’t really have the emotional capacity to deal with them right now, so I will probably learn more in the future.
I don’t think my relationship with my dad will ever heal, but ultimately we both love the same person (my mom) and that will keep us together. I also want to say that grooming is never okay and that I don’t want my parents’ story to be a “success story” of a relationship between a grown adult and a teenager.
To all the kids reading this, dating older people is never cool, even if they say you are “mature for your age” or “not like other girls/boys/nb pals out there.” If you think you are in a situation like this, tell a trusted adult or call the police.
Am I overreacting?