Let’s face it: regardless of how much you adore somebody, sleeping with them for the first time is always a nerve-racking event. But, after you get beyond the discomfort, it will only draw you closer together – or so.
Mary Rose Madigan expected with a guy she’d been dating. In an individual attack, the Sydney-based writer described the humiliating experience of being body-shamed by a man she dated a few years ago.
Mary reports that just minutes after they finished having sex, he turned and stated, that she would be much hotter if she dropped weight. She is already hot, but would have been even hotter. Needless to say, Mary was taken aback by his remarks and stated it took a “couple of moments” for them to truly soak in.
She stated it was one of those instances when her brain had to absorb it since it felt silly. How could somebody say such a thing? She meant, disrespectful doesn’t even begin to describe it, especially after he’d just been inside of her.
Mary then politely requested him to go, describing how she felt “humiliated and enraged” in equal measure. To make matters worse, he then accused Mary of “blowing things out of proportion” and of attempting to gain the “upper hand.” Shockingly, he then had the audacity to write to her again a few days later, asking when they’d next meet up.
In the following weeks, Mary began to doubt everything, including if her weight was stopping her from attaining her “peak hotness.” She stated that she had to tell herself that she was enough at whatever size and that her value and hotness aren’t determined by the size of her trousers.
The main thing that had to be altered was his attitude toward women. Still, she was concerned that this was the cost of dating as a plus-size woman.
Mary realized she wasn’t the only one who had been body-shamed in the dating industry after sharing the event with others. Mary describes how she’s got the last laugh, saying she’s more happy than ever and regained her self-esteem by buying new underwear, listening to Lizzo, and taking a break from dating.
She said the harsh fact is that lots of guys try to assert control in a relationship by demeaning and degrading the individual they are dating or sleeping with, and yes, that occasionally includes body shaming. While it wasn’t exactly reassuring, it did solidify the idea that his statements had nothing to do with her body and everything to do with him.