Being a father doesn’t have anything to do with blood and science, and you don’t need to impart DNA to somebody to cherish them. Even if you already have a caring biological father, a stepfather may act as an additional adult who can help you grow up, nurture you, and teach you valuable life skills. In this story a daughter mistreats her step dad. Read the story and let us know whether the step father was right with his words.
I married my wife Elise 12 years ago. She has a 16 year old daughter (Ana) from her previous relationship and we have a 7 year old son as well.
From pretty much the beginning of our relationship, Ana and I have never gotten along. I don’t know how to emphasize that it is NOT because of a lack of trying. She just does not like me. When she was young she was just scared of me and “afraid I’d tear their family apart”. Nowadays it’s more of a neutral dislike rather than strong antipathy so I suppose that’s progress
Elise is a stay at home mother, so she relies on me for income. As a result, I pay for everything for Ana. Food. Clothes. Volleyball fees. Field trips. I take an interest in her hobbies. I go to her games. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I try my damn hardest to be the step-father I can.
But it’s so… hard. Always giving me curt 1-word responses. Always having to have an attitude. She does things to get a rise out of me. Staying out late reeking of booze. Always trying to sneak boys in. Typical rebellious stuff. But I always let her know I love her and I’m there for her in hopes of her “shithead teenager” phase pasts.
The opposite is true for her biological father. She adores him. Can’t tell you why. He never goes to her games, always makes excuses for why he doesn’t want to see her. He forgot her birthday last month and she cried herself to sleep.
Well anyways, Friday, I came to her room to check her phone and read her messages (not a permanent thing, but she’s been caught sneaking out twice in the last month so this is her punishment). I ask for the phone, she says “no, I’m tired of you checking my sh*t, leave me alone”. I tell her I’m not asking again and she goes “just f**k off already. You’re not my real dad. You never have been. Stop acting like you can tell me what to do” before getting up and slamming the door.
Like I said guys. I’m tired. Tired of the blatant disrespect. Of being the verbal punching bag while still providing more for her than anyone else in her family.
We haven’t really talked since until this morning during breakfast. She asked if I could pay for her plane tickets so she could see her boyfriend cross-state. Like I said, her mom doesn’t work and her dad is a POS so I normally would be the one to cough up the money. Not this time. I responded “go ask your real dad”. I could tell she was hurt. Tears swelled up from her face and she excused herself from the table.
My wife took me aside later and said my comment was extremely disrespectful. I said if anything’s disrespectful, it’s her treating me like a doormat and a credit card, and I will no longer tolerate this treatment in my house. I told her we don’t have to be friends, but if she can’t at least be cordial to me or respect my position as an authority figure, she can find someone else to pay for her non-essentials.
Do you think the post author did the right thing or should he apologize?
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