“I Was Afraid She Would Think I Wasn’t Fun.” When I Refused Alcohol.
Story by Celeste Yvonne
I went to a play date the other day at someone’s house. Almost the moment I stepped through the front door, the mom giggled “Mimosa time!” and my body froze up.
I wasn’t prepared for this.
Most times, when I’m heading to a social gathering, I have time to prepare. I mentally prepare, I physically prepare (I always bring a kombucha with me), I emotionally prepare.
I think about what I will say when someone asks why I’m not drinking. I think about how deep I want to get in the conversation — because some days I’m ready to go there, and other days I want to talk about anything BUT that.
Today, because I was so caught off guard, I probably looked like a deer in headlights. I almost said “Yes” and thought about just pretending to sip it. But I said “Not right now, I’m good thank you” and the conversation veered to something else.
But it came up again about 15 minutes later. And again another 15 minutes later. And I was practically banging my head against the wall mentally thinking “why don’t I just tell her I don’t drink?”
But I didn’t. I was afraid she would think I wasn’t fun. I was afraid she wouldn’t want to have more play dates with me.
I read a meme yesterday that said “I determine my kids play dates by which mom I want to drink wine with”.
Being alcohol free can truly feel ostracizing. And it’s strange to think that alcohol is the only drug that we have to explain NOT using.
Time to change the narrative. Alcohol free is a choice that should not require an explanation, embarrassment or fear of condemnation. #changethenarrative