When it comes to parenting, almost everybody believes they are an expert. It’s just impossible to navigate the maze of advice when it contradicts what you want to accomplish as a parent. Particularly when your in-laws are putting pressure on you! In this story, her mother-in-law is encouraging her to have regular sleepovers at their house, despite the fact that the baby is only four months old. Scroll down to read the mother’s whole tale and do share your opinions on the family turmoil.
DD- Dear Daughter
DH- Dear Husband
We went to PIL for lunch on New Year’s Day and MIL announced that she wanted to show us something upstairs. So we followed her and she proceeded to do a grand reveal of our DD’s new bedroom, all bedecked with pink princesses and unicorns (not my taste but clearly a lot of effort gone in). She proceeded to request we make a start with her first sleepover next week.
DD is just turning 4 months and getting her to bed is challenging at the moment (often resorting to co-sleeping) so I was a bit shocked and felt she’d jumped the gun a bit. We haven’t even discussed sleepovers yet.
I basically told MIL that while the room looked great, it was much too soon to be having sleepovers. Honestly I don’t think I’ll be keen on the idea for ages yet.
MIL didn’t say much but was clearly a bit put out. Later on she texted me to say she was upset as she had put in a lot of effort and was so looking forward to regular sleepovers. She asked when we could start. I said that as DD is breastfed and often co-sleps it won’t be for quite some time.
Yesterday I thought about it and felt bad for MIL and started to think maybe in a couple of months if DD will take a bottle and isn’t co sleeping so often we could try it and see how it goes.
But then I caught sight of a text popping up on DH’s phone, so I picked it up and read their conversation (yes I know I shouldn’t). MIL actually said to DH that ‘he mustn’t let me carry on breastfeeding longer than necessary in order to keep DD from doing overnights at their house’! In a previous text she’d told him she had hoped to be doing overnights 1-2 times a week (erm, nope).
DH had been trying to temper the situation and told her we’d let her know when we’re ready, but the way I feel now I’m not sure I ever will be!
DH and I are homebodies so while the time might come that we want a babysitter for the odd night out, it hasn’t even occurred to us yet. If she doesn’t calm down I’ll be asking my own parents to do it.
However I have never limited their daytime visits – although I am always there as I don’t want people taking her without me yet.
Am I being unreasonable or is she just nuts?