My ex and I (33M) broke up 2 years ago. We had been trying to have kids but couldn’t because of my infertility. It was just very disheartening for me. My ex wanted to keep trying but it was just too painful, so I told her that I wanted to stop for now. Not to stop forever but to give me some time to grieve the fact that I’d never be able to father kids of my own before we looked into other avenues. She didn’t want to wait any longer and broke up with me.
A couple months later I had a drunk ONS with my son’s mother. To my surprise she got pregnant. And yes we made sure he was in fact my biological child because I never thought this could ever happen. He was a beautiful miracle.
My son’s mother unfortunately passed away when he was 4 months old because of issues with covid. Ever since I’ve been a single father my ex has tried to make contact. I don’t want to have any contact because my life is different and there’s no place for her anymore. Her biggest advocate has been my sister because we were together for years and broke up due to the kids’ conflict. And apparently now that I have a child we could “make it work.”
We celebrated my son’s first birthday 2 weeks ago. My family and his mom’s family were there. My ex found out (I’m sure through my sister or someone else in my family). She brought a gift for my son. But I didn’t even let her come in. We had an argument at the door because she would not leave. My ex was trying to convince me to let her stay so she could meet my son and we could talk about things. I already knew why she wanted to, because she feels like she could take his mom’s place in his life and that’s not gonna happen.
She eventually did but I was pretty mad at that point. My ex wanted to leave the gift for him. The reason I refused to accept it is so she doesn’t think she has a chance being around. Well she left it at my door so I just threw it away. He got plenty of other gifts anyways.
Because this happened in front of everyone, my ex and sis think I was a Jerk for humiliating her in front of not just my family but also my son’s mom’s family. It would’ve been less chaotic to have taken her to the side and had a private conversation so she could have slipped out without anyone noticing. On top of that she found out I got rid of her gift, which they think I was an a&*$%ole for because that was meant for him, and it didn’t give me the right to throw out something that belonged to my son.
I’m still bitter towards my ex for how things ended and seeing her made me react that way. Because it was out of anger and hate for her, I’m wondering if I’m Jerk for how the whole thing was handled or was I in the right?
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: