Gay Man Refuses To Move Back To Conservative Hometown To Take Care Of His Elderly Parents.
Returning home for LGBTQ persons from more conservative and unwelcoming environments may be laden with fear and grief from prior trauma–and it can easily spark conflict with their relatives. A gay guy became entangled in this type of controversy after telling his elderly parents that he had no intention of returning to his conservative Christian homeland to care for them. He isn’t sure what to say so please read the story and help him out.
Me: 1st born gay son, reasonably successful professional who moved away from small town to a hyper-liberal west coast city. I now own a home with my BF of 10 years. My parents’ health has taken a turn for the worse and the family is starting to make less and less subtle hints that they expect me to return home. I am in very good relations with my mom and dad- I visit them every year and support them financially. They’ve always dropped hints about me moving back but now the situation has gotten more dire.
The problem is: I hate my hometown. It’s a tiny little place in the middle of nowhere. I have lots of bad memories of growing up in that place, (did I mention I’m a gay man?) and even when I visit, it’s just like I remember. Nobody wears a mask, the most important talking subject is always college football and, of course, absolutely zero good jobs. Worst of all, you’re literally surrounded and out-numbered by Republicans/Conservatives/Christians. I hate hate hate it.
So I told my parents that they can move to my city whenever they wish, but when the time comes and I am given Power of Attorney, I plan on selling their home and moving them across the country to live in my ADU. There is absolutely zero chance I’m moving back home- if anyone moves, it will be my parents who get moved.
Now, EVERYONE in my extended family is angry at me. I’m getting tons of angry texts from my aunt and my mom won’t stop crying. What should I do?
Do you think the post author decision is right? Any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: