If you’re engaged or have ever been engaged, the subject of prenuptial agreements may have come up between you and your spouse. They aren’t required, so not every couple thinks about them, but they can be a vital precaution to take before getting married. One man asked for advice after his fiancé, who was previously opposed to prenups, suddenly thought that signing one would be prudent. Read the complete story and what do you think he should do?
A little background here is that I make around $250k a year, my fiance makes around $65k a year. We’ve both been divorced. I asked for a prenup to protect my existing assets: two rental properties (worth around $400k together), my retirement account, my house which I live in, existing savings account, and just sentimental things. I offered to pay for a lawyer for her, and make anything earned AFTER the wedding fair game in a divorce split.
In my previous divorce my ex took a lot that I had before we ever even met each other, and took a lot of things with sentimental value just to hurt me. I floated the idea of a prenup and she was not OK with it. It hurt her feelings, and she said I was planning for a divorce if I want a prenup. She had this idea that when we marry everything becomes ours. We’ve been dating for 4 years, and had very few bumps so I don’t see a super high risk of divorce but I do acknowledge it’s there. Anyways, I love her, and I said sure.
Fast forward a couple months, her grandmother abruptly died (wasn’t expected. Grandmother was quite healthy before. Had a heart attack). Apparently the grandmother left the entire estate to her; Worth roughly $800k. Now, the tables have turned and she wants a prenup protecting these assets from me which I was fine with, but she doesn’t want to sign my prenup in return for that. Her reasoning is that her grandmother wouldn’t have wanted her wealth to “leave her direct family and that there’s a reason it was left all to me and not my siblings or parents”, and that the prenup must not have been important to me because I threw out the idea after minimal pushback…
I’m at a loss here. In one regard I’m glad we had prenup discussions because it brought out these sides of us, but I’m really wondering if this 4-year relationship that has been full of nothing but love and support for each other until now is even salvageable. She’s not willing to budge on her OWN prenup like I was, and I’m finding this whole situation very frustrating.
Do you think her request is reasonable? Any advice