Man Wonders If He’s A Bad Guy For Telling His Wife That Wants To Be Appreciated To Stop Expecting It, As It’s Her Job To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom.

Being a mother is one of the most essential and difficult occupations on the planet. It is also one of the world’s most under-appreciated jobs. Many people are unaware of how difficult the procedure is because society regards it as something entirely normal. Most people assume that being a stay-at-home mother is such a simple task that they don’t even compare it to a traditional 9 to 5 job. In this story a husband of a stay-at-home mother worried whether he was the worst jerk in the world for not recognising his exhausted wife who cares for their 2-year-old twins.

Source: Reddit

I (36M) work full time and my wife (32F) is a SAHM looking after our 2 year old twins.

When we got married, we both agreed that my wife would be a SAHM, especially since we don’t have any family/grandparents nearby. We were both in agreement and my wife made it clear she wanted to enjoy seeing our kids grow up (we don’t plan on having any more).

I make a good wage so we are comfortable. I don’t give my wife any spending limits (obviously we discuss big purchases) so she is free to buy herself things, I make sure she has access to money and she takes care of everything around the house.

I work from home and a typical day for me is 7am – 5pm. Once I finish work, I go and spend time with the twins while my wife makes dinner. We put them to bed together and my wife usually clears up in the kitchen. She is great at her job and the house is spotless. I am happy with this arrangement and I thought my wife was too.

Recently, she has been coming to me and saying that she feels burned out, unappreciated and taken for granted. I asked if I could do anything to help and she said that it would be nice if I did something now and again to show that I appreciated her. E.g. buying her favourite bar of chocolate when I go to the shop or something small, just as a gesture of appreciation. I’ll admit that I didn’t do this, purely because I am not in the habit to be honest.

We recently had a massive argument because my wife got completely fed up with being “treated like a servant”. She basically said that her working hours are 5am – 9pm, 7 days a week and that she feels like I take her for granted. I told her that I understand it’s a tough job but we both get on with our respective roles. I never ask her to thank me for making money, I think that’s cringeworthy. I get on with my job because I have to provide for my family whereas she wants presents and treats for doing her job.

I essentially said this to her and now I’m wondering if I am the Jerk – looking after kids and the house is tiring and she does work hard and takes care of everything. But at the same time, do I need to thank her on bended knee and buy her things just for doing her job? So, I’m in the middle of a shitstorm and need some advice on if I’m wrong.

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