As the holidays approach and you put away your Halloween decorations, it’s time to consider Thanksgiving and all it has to offer. Time spent with friends and family, with wonderful food and laughter, is something to look forward to. In this story an irritated mother kicks her daughter-in-law out of Thanksgiving dinner in front of everyone, wondering if she crossed the line. Read the story and share your thoughts on this.
My daughter (21) lives with us while finishing college. My son (27) lives in the same city and I babysit his children (3 and 4), so we are bubbled. My sister, who drove three hours with her husband and son (16) to come and see us, has been taking extra precautions prior to this event. Everyone was safe.
DIL and I don’t get along for many reasons I won’t go into. She’s also just one of those condescending people who thinks that constantly looks down on others, especially because of her veganism. Last Thanksgiving, she raised hell over me making a turkey, and claimed there weren’t really any vegan options. There were.
Last week, DIL contacted me on FB asking for the “menu”, and then telling me what “will” and “won’t” work. She also sent me many replication recipes to make for her, with expensive specialty items in all of them, many I didn’t even know what they were. This annoyed me, because I had already made sure to give my son, her, and her kids vegan options for the day, but it wasn’t good enough. I finally just told her to go pound sand, and that she could bring her own dish for her family if she’d be that picky.
Thanksgiving happens. They arrive late with a ton of food dishes, parading them in, all with this vindictive grin on her face. Turns out, she, out of spite, took the exact menu, and made her own version of every single dish. Needless to say, I was livid, but I held my tongue. My sister and daughter in particular did try the food and enjoy it. Every time they complimented her, she would give me this look as she received her thanks, before tacking on something like “I just wanted to make a Thanksgiving meal that everyone could enjoy.”
The part where I finally snapped was at dessert. We have a family tradition where right before we sit down and say what we’re thankful for. It’s usually for family, or being able to gather. When at her turn, she got the same smug, vindictive grin on her face, and in the most condescending way, said “I’m thankful for starting the new tradition of a cruelty free, inclusive Thanksgiving, and I hope it continues next year!”
I saw red. I waited until my turn, and then said, as calmly as I could, that I was thankful that this would be the last Thanksgiving I’d be spending with her. It took them a moment to catch on, and soon enough nasty words were being exchanged on both sides. I finally kicked them out.
I didn’t think about it until this evening, when my son sent me a text telling me that he would not be letting his children come over until I personally apologize to his wife. He said that while he sees my side, she “didn’t mean it”, and that I took it way too far by publicly embarrassing her, when she spent so much time making food for everyone. My husband is telling me I should just apologize, because it was rude of me and isn’t worth it. He doesn’t really get why it hurt me so much that she copied my meal to “one up” me, and thinks the more food, the merrier. Am I A Jerk here? Let me know.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: