Mother-In-Law Expects To Be Treated The Same As Her Daughter, Husband Can’t Take It Anymore, Family Drama Ensues.
In a marriage for a wife her family starts with her husband and kids and vice versa for the husband too. However, both sets of parents of the husband and wife should know to draw a line. Read the story to know why the son-in-law and his mother-in-law had an argument. Let us know if you agree with him?
My mother in law is a kind and funny woman though She does have few problems with boundaries and is a little too involved in my marriage especially now that my wife’s pregnant. My wife’s family aren’t well off financially and it’s the opposite with my family, My family own a factory, I’m an engineer My wife has a job that doesn’t pay well but she’s happy with it.
Every time I get my wife something nice, especially jewelry I’d get a call from my mil complaining that she got nothing once she finds out even if it was my wife’s birthday or our wedding anniversary. Holidays and other occasions aside, She’d throw a fit about how I was treating her as less than. She always comes over and when she notices a new piece of furniture or any new items she’d complain I didn’t get her similar stuff.
She sent a picture of a very expensive necklace that she wanted me to get for mother’s day. I called her to ask about it and she said that she’s been wanting it for a while, and only I could afford it. When I told her I may not be able to get it she replied that I already got my wife an expensive necklace on sunday and I can afford this one. I didn’t get her necklace and instead I decided to get her some fresh flowers that I picked from my late mother’s garden that I trimmed/organized myself then put them in a nice vase.
We visited Sunday evening and my mil kept smiling til it was time for the gift opening. I handed her the flowers and talked about how much time and effort I made to put everything together. She was shocked and said she thought I loved and cared enough to get her something nice, just like my wife who technically isn’t even a mother yet and she’s been a mother for 32 years. I got annoyed and said that I did not appreciate her harsh response to my gift but she argued with me and kept talking about how much she wanted the necklace and that I could afford it just like I was able to afford the one I got for my wife but instead chose a thoughtless crappy gift to give her. That pissed me off.
I said that I married her daughter and not her. Of course I was putting my wife first and It’s crazy she thinks I’m obligated to treat her and my wife the same. My wife looked at me and was astonished. Mil replied that I was being mean and nasty to her on purpose and rubbing my financial stability in her face, treating her as if she was greedy instead of showing her appreciation.
She went inside looking so upset she was almost crying then my wife followed her. Suddenly, Everyone was staring at me, it was awkward as hell. My wife snapped in the car telling me I was way out of line for making her mom cry on mother’s day and said that she will not let my attitude cause a rift between her and her mom. I asked if she agreed with her mom’s demands and she said no, But I went over the top and shouldn’t have spoken to her that way. She said I deeply hurt her mom’s feelings and should apologize. Did I go too far here? So, I’m in the middle of a shitstorm and need some advice on if I’m wrong.
I really don’t want to ruin my relationship with my mother in law but I’m worried that I just did.
What would you do in his situation? Any advice. Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: