“My Boyfriend Wants To Get Engaged, But I Can’t Forget What He Did Years Ago.”
My boyfriend and I started dating when we were 18 years old. We now are 24 years old and live together. We are the happiest we have ever been, seriously. He is my absolute dream guy. He’s kind, passionate, romantic, understanding, helpful, supportive, he is my perfect balance. He is also one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever laid eyes on lol, but that’s not important.
So when we first started dating my boyfriend was a nightmare. He was young, stupid, didn’t know what he wanted, we would break up constantly. I also wasn’t innocent. I was immature, rude, controlling, and definitely wasn’t my best self.
So when we would break up, my boyfriend would get with other girls and wouldn’t tell me, even though I asked so many times. He would tell me no over and over again. 3 years ago now, he finally came clean. He decided to tell me everything. Told me he realized how much he loved me and that this wasn’t some college fling, and he wanted to marry me. He said he was scared to tell me because he didn’t think I would take him back (I understand that) and that he didn’t think it was a huge deal because we weren’t together and it wasn’t worth the risk/was none of my business really. He realized a year and a half later that it was the best thing to tell me and lying wasn’t going to take us to that next step in our relationship.
Present moment. My boyfriend talks engagement all the time. He wants to get married, have kids, everything. And so do I, most days. Then other says I sit around thinking I’m settling because I gave him so many chances 3 years ago. I’m with someone that wasn’t perfect from the very beginning. And I’m in a relationship that has disappointed me many times. I compare my relationship to those perfect ones on social media, and everyone seems to always leave someone that was in my similar situation. My issue is I don’t want to leave the man he is today… for the man he was 4 years ago, the man he was in college. It makes no sense. He would be the best husband and father… why would I lose that? I just feel stupid.