“My Dad Says He And His Girlfriend Of 2 Months Are A “Package Deal” At My Mom’s Funeral.”
Love your spouse in good health and in sickness is one of the vows made in a marriage. If you truly and deeply love your spouse you would be with him/her in bad times too. Not giving up on the relationship so easily. Instead valuing and adoring the individual. Making the individual feel wanted and loved. (This story was sent to us by George).
My (26F) mom was in the process of divorcing my dad when she died.
She was battling an aggressive cancer for a year and a half. 6 months into the ordeal, my dad had a blow up during his birthday, telling her he could not believe she couldn’t put on a happy face for just one day.
He quickly moved out of the house and rented a place where he took his business trips. My mom was in denial until somebody close to her told her they saw my dad first hand out and about kissing another woman.
She filed for divorce one month before her death and my dad went public with his new girlfriend (27F). After she died my dad came to the house with a family friend and made a huge scene crying and saying they had a good marriage and family.
As the husband of the deceased most people expected him to plan the funeral. But conversations with him usually turned to preparing the house for sale and dealing with the estate that he expects to get as the husband.
He and his girlfriend moved into the house and finally he said that me and my mom were the event planners in the family so it would be better in my hands and he gives me full right to do as I think best. He also said he wanted no events at THEIR place because his girlfriend is a germaphobe about where she lives.
I ended up doing all the work with my grandma, aunt, and my mom’s best friend. When I sent him the formal notification about when and where we would be holding the memorial he asked why there wasn’t one addressed to his girlfriend and then showed me screenshots of chats where both he and his girlfriend were criticized.
All the people who put love into my mom’s funeral think it’s inappropriate for the man my mom loved for her whole life to be sitting next to a new girlfriend. In addition my dad and his girlfriend are nicknamed “Couple Club Molly” by everybody in our circle under 40 because of how much PDA they show whenever they are out together. Her always sitting on his lap, making out, keeping their hands at inappropriate places.
When I tried to gauge if my dad would consider tapering off the touching and rubbing up against each other / sharing a seat they’ve been known to do, he denies remembering one time they’ve even kissed in public and says that he can’t help but think I want to dictate how he grieves and that you can’t expect someone who’s been cruelly touch starved for like two years to accept that state of affairs.
He says “invite both of us or I assume you’re not inviting me.”
My dad never used to be like this. He used to be very affectionate and gregarious but now everything that’s so charming about him is worse than glib.
My main concern is my grandma who has been suffering heart palpitations since we lost my mom and the stress of dealing with drama or reminders of my dad cheating is too much for her.
Should I leave the ball in my dad’s court and let him decide what he wants to do? Or should I bite the bullet and formally invite his girlfriend? I have spent nearly all of my own money on this funeral and my dad contributed a total of $100 dollars.