Relationships that are good, strong, healthy, and long-lasting may and do occur. Unfortunately, not all relationships are successful. This can result in acrimonious divorces that leave a trail of emotional consequences for decades. In some extreme cases, parents opt to forsake their spouse and children to rely for themselves. A woman’s paternal grandparents only lately discovered her existence. To compensate for her estranged father’s conduct, they decided to offer her a present… from his trust money. Here’s the complete story.
My father is a di*k. When he got my mother pregnant he wanted her to quit her job and just stay home to “be a good little wife and mother. He is very well off due to a trust fund and he doesn’t really need to work. My mother refused and divorced him. Because of a prenup she got very little and he moved back to Europe. His parents never knew about me and my mother had a good profession and I never really wanted for anything.
My grandmother and grandfather, her mom and dad were awesome, and I got to spend my summers exploring the wilds of Western Canada with them. My father never paid the child support he should have. Like I said it did really matter. My mom makes good money and she gave me a great life as a child.
So the point of this post. I’m (F28) getting married. I met the love of my life (M31) at university and we have been together for eight years. He is a wonderful person and he really is my lobster. (Sorry, Friends reference). His family is from the same city as my father and they are a huge rambunctious bunch. Because of a lot of intermingled business and personal relationships my parental grandparents found out about my impending wedding and me I suppose. They have been in contact and want to come to Canada to meet me and my fiancee who I guess is a grandson of an acquaintance of theirs. Small world.
When they found out that my father had basically abandoned me to fend for myself in this world, this is honestly how they see it, they were pissed to say the least. It is very funny because we are decidedly upper middle class here.
So long story short they had their lawyer calculate the amount of child support my father should have paid with interest and the cost of my post secondary education. They then gave me this as a gift. What I didn’t know was that it came out of my father’s yearly draw on his trust fund.
He is furious because it is obviously a sizable amount and it will very much affect his finances for at least the next two years. He may need to, GASP, get a job.
He has been contacting me and telling me that his current wife and children will be negatively affected if I don’t give him back this money.
I don’t really need it. And I guess I am entitled to it and I am getting a trust fund now as well.
But I really want to pay off any debt my mother may have and make sure that when she retires she can do whatever suits her fancy.
I’m not giving it back. Am I A Jerk?
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