“No One Should Have To Make A Decision Like That In The Moment Of Extreme Emotion, Trauma And Pain.”
*Trigger Warning: Miscarriage*
Story by Annalise Ree Washburn
No one talks about the messy parts of miscarriage. No no one talks about the painful details.
No one talks about the cramping, the labor, the bleeding, the postpartum hormones raging – all without a sweet snuggly baby as a reward. No one talks about the “products of miscarriage”. The baby that comes out of you, just as it would full grown… only much, much smaller. The placenta. The blood. The horrendous pain and wearing of what feels like diapers 24/7 for days or even weeks.
No one talks about what you should do with the tiny, perfectly formed body you just birthed.
If it’s under a certain ‘gestational age’ it’s left up to you. Do you bury it? Do you cremate? Do you toss it in the garbage?! Do you flush?! If it landed in the toilet?
What do you do?! And why doesn’t any one tell you these are decisions you will have to make? Why doesn’t anyone speak up?
No one should have to make a decision like that in the moment of extreme emotion, trauma and pain.
No one should have to look back and wish they had done something differently. Wished they had known there were options. We need to do things differently.
When I was pregnant with my oldest, and especially after his labor & postpartum, I remember thinking “why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?”
And here I am again. On the other side, wondering “why no one ever told me it would be like this?”
So, I’m here. I’m standing up. If you ever find yourself in this horrible place… reach out to me. I will share the messy parts, the hard parts, the important decisions and moments of grief, pain & healing to come. I will speak up.