We are 15 years apart and we met when I was in my very early 20’s, so he had a family before that. He was happily married with his childhood sweetheart and their life was supposed to be beautiful together, but she got sick and she died. Life really sucks sometimes.
We met way too soon after that and he straight up told me that he was not ready for me and he was still very much grieving. I made it very clear from the start that I got that, that he didn’t have to hide, that there would always be a place for her and that we could go as slow as he wanted or quit altogether if that was what he wanted. So we took it very slow and we have always talked a lot about her and their lives together. That sparkle in his eyes.. it made me love him more.
Obviously we had something good and we got married a few years later. Her parents had been a part of our relationship (my husbands parents died over twenty years ago) and they were a very important part of our wedding. A picture of her has always been in our living room and I love that he sometimes just touches it lightly or whispers to her when he thinks I can’t hear him. He loves her, he misses her, I’m fine with that and I love how he does it in his own way.
Over the last couple of months I noticed that he was moving her picture around a bit. A bit more out of sight, a bit more back into sight haha and a bit more out of sight again. We didn’t really talk about it but he was obviously taking some steps in his grieving process. Today, after he was done cleaning, I noticed that her picture was no longer there. I asked him and he said he put it in the drawer because he felt ready to do so.
I’m so proud of my husband, who went through so much. I’m so very f**king proud that he feels he is ready to let go a little bit more. And I’m also so sad and crying my eyes out in the bathroom right now because he has to go through this and she is getting further and further away from him. I know its just a picture but for the both of us, it’s so much more. It has been such a long process. I almost feel as if I’m grieving over the fact that he is letting his grief move to the background a bit more. Or something like that. It’s a good thing obviously but pfff..so much feelz. God I love that man so much.