She Was Uncomfortable On Speaking The Truth When Her Boss Asked Her About Her Plans On Mother’s Day.
I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day. (To all the good moms out there, I hope you have a great day and that your kids appreciate you)
My office had a Zoom meeting the other day and my boss went around to ask people how they would be celebrating Mother’s Day. When it was my turn, I said I didn’t have plans, which was not a suitable answer for my boss. She said to think harder. I wanted to tell her the truth, that I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day, because my mother is only my mother by title, not by bond. One of my mom’s friends is a coworker, however, so I felt uncomfortable speaking the truth.
My mother has never been there for me. She is narcissistic, neglectful, and abusive. She skipped many of my important life events and told me to get over myself while being mad at me for not praising her accomplishments. She skipped my college graduation and told me to get over while also bragging to her friends that she raised a college graduate (she offered no support to me). She refused to buy me razors, bras, and menstrual products, so I had to ask my dad, which is not fun as a teenager. She called me crazy through my mental illness yet refused to drive me to therapy. She treated my brothers like royalty while yelling and criticizing or just avoiding me.
My dad is better, he at least is there for me, but sometimes you just want a mom as a girl. I couldn’t talk to her about boys or health problems. I live with my parents currently (not a good situation, just can’t be on my own right now), and she walks into rooms without looking or talking to me, or she tells at me for living at home and blames me for my brother’s messes. I told her the other day that I accomplished something big at work, and she started blankly ahead and didn’t respond.
Today my mother received flowers from several relatives, some of whom I’ve tried to confide in and beg for help, to please talk to my mother and tell her to love me, to show some affection, to be nice. They always told me I was a brat and that she is perfect and a great mom. They don’t see the truth, know about the times I ran away in the night after screaming, when she threw things at me, her neglect. She paints a different, fake picture to others and online.
I’ve given up on trying to reveal the truth about her and accepted that I’ll never have a mom or be a “normal” person. I don’t hate other people who have moms and am happy for them, I just see so many people who forget that not all mothers are great. Just because she gave birth to me doesn’t mean she is good to me. I want to remind others who may have had bad relationships with their mothers that you don’t owe them anything and you shouldn’t feel obligated to celebrate the day.