In the last six months, we’ve found out that my father fell in love with another woman. Initially I was very much of the idea that these are things that happen and that I (20m) are no one to be able to criticise the life choices of a 55-year-old man.
I simply supported my mother as best I could all this time trying to calm her panic attacks and comforting her when it was needed. They have been married for 33 years she was 17 at the time and her father died when she was 20 so my father was a very important figure for her, she is a career woman but a good 40% of her identity was made up of him and their relationship.
My father in the last two years was depressed and we all knew about it and we insisted that he went to therapy, took medication and solved the bullying problems he had at work (he’s the deputy editor of a big newspaper but he has the character of a lost sheep and many have often taken advantage of this) the situation didn’t change and my mother asked to him to go in couple therapy but he said his doctor thought it wasn’t a good idea.
After a while we discover that he is actually in love with another woman and that depression was caused by this secret relationship (poor child).
In this period, however, new things have come up:
- He had been in a relationship for a year and a half so he lied again
- My mother until these days had never had access to the joint account and once she entered she found out that this month we spent 10000€ and we have in all a entrance into the house of 4500. Beyond the crazy but justified expenses there are 3000€ vanished that my father justify with an account that he would open in the city where he lives for me of which I know nothing. I already have two accounts in my name one of the bank I usually use and one related to the university I attend, of course they are both empty so why open a new one?
- He lied about the couple therapy, the doctor told my mother that he never told him it wasn’t necessary and essentially when he went to therapy he did it to take away the guilt to abandon us
- My grandparents (my father’s) call my mother one day yes and one no to tell her that it’s her fault of what happened, that she probably cheated on him before and she wasn’t able to seduce him if he left.
Every day I find myself having to physically collect my mother from the ground, she already takes psychopharmaceuticals and goes to therapy but every day she talks to me about suicide and the only reason she doesn’t do it are me and my brother. She also has heart problems and every night I have to wake up in the middle of the night because it has very high pulses and arrhythmias.
I know he is my father but i wish karma gets back to him for what he has done to my mother’s life.