Teacher Rant About The Effect On Children When Parents Say Their Kids Are Annoying.
Stop Saying Your Kids Are Annoying
I’m a middle school teacher in a completely average area.
All those posts online about how you can’t handle your kids and family anymore?
All those posts about needing alcohol to get through a day with your kids?
All those posts about how annoying your partner is?
All those posts about how annoying your children are?
All those posts talking about how you regret kids some days?
All those posts about how having your kids home is incredibly frustrating?
All those posts about how you just want some time away from your kids?
All those posts about family drama?
All those posts about how you just want your old life back?
THEY SEE IT ALL.
These kids are social media savvy. They know what’s being posted, and it is damn well affecting their mental health.
I’ve spoken with so many kids who hear their parents complaining about being parents frequently. Who tell me that their parent can’t help them with a reading task without a glass of wine. Kids who tell me that their parents are always frustrated with them. Kids who firmly believe that their parents don’t like them. That they’re annoying, a pain, bothersome. These comments are driving your kids away from you. They’re exasperating your kids mental health. These comments/posts/overheard conversations are making your kids anxious about asking anything of you. These comments, even just in passing, are making a lot of kids feel worthless.
Think about that for a moment. A 12 year old, who sees their parents posting online about needing wine to help them supervise homework time. Who hears parents talking about how the kids are bothersome. A 12 year who feels worthless because they truly believe their parents don’t like them, that if they were somehow better, maybe their family would spend time together more often.
I get it. You’re busy, things are rough, work is hard, etc. Life is hard. Especially in a pandemic with an uncertain political climate, economy, and household financial situation. But your kids need you. They need to know you’re there to support them. They need to know that no matter what, you’ve got their back. That you want them around. That you like them. Your kids are channeling all the stress we, as adults, are too, but they don’t have the coping skills to really deal with it yet. They need extra love and care. They need extra reassurance. They need all the positives that come from family and support. If they don’t find it at home, they’ll start looking in other places for it.
Please spend some actual quality time with your kids, not just being in the same room. Please stop complaining about them in places they can overhear/read. Please be there for them. They need you.
Also, this isn’t one or two kids, this is dozens over the months through the spring and so far this fall. Your kids need more support than ever right now. They need you and your love for them. They need to feel it, see it, and believe it.
P.S. I’m not saying you can’t, or shouldn’t, have adult conversations, be honest, and get support from your adult friends, you definitely should. Just not in public spaces accessible by your children. They hear/see it all. And it affects them. A lot.