Am I The Jerk For Refusing To Change One Of My Students Diapers Outside Of School Hours.
Every day provides fresh experiences when you have a baby. They are a delight to see, but when it comes to the dreaded diaper change, many will find any reason to avoid it! At daycare a teacher takes care of the child’s needs but cannot expect a teacher to change diapers when not on duty. Read this story and let us know if the teacher handled the situation well.
Hi everyone, I (20f) work full time at a daycare with younger preschoolers, a few of whom are still in diapers. The other day I was at huge a barbecue with some friends from high school and the friends of their parents were also there. I ran into one of my preschoolers and her mom and chatted with her for a little while. After a few minutes the mom said that her kids diaper was dirty and asked if I could change it.
I thought she was joking so I laughed and made a joke back about how “I only change diapers when I’m on the clock.” Her friends that she was sitting with all kind of laughed awkwardly but she looked at me dead serious and said “no really I don’t change diapers.” I felt really awkward but just said “no, sorry” and went to walk away but then she started explaining to me that her husband is the only one who changes diapers because she’s a germaphobe and has emetaphobia (fear of throwing up) and she’s only done it a few times when she absolutely had to and she always threw up after which apparently she has a crippling fear of doing. I felt that regardless of the circumstances, it was inappropriate for her to ask me this so I said no again.
She seemed really shocked by this and continued to explain how much she hates changing diapers and how her husband wasn’t here so he couldn’t help. I just told her that I don’t like changing them either and I think it’s inappropriate for her to keep pushing this when I have already told her no. She then said “it’s devastating to me to learn my daughter’s favorite teacher has so little empathy” and after that I just walked away. A few minutes later I saw her putting the kid in the car and leaving so I assume she went to wherever her husband was to have him do it. I texted my boss to tell her what happened because I am about to go on vacation and I assumed that the mother would say something to her about it. My boss just told me that I could tell her about it in more detail when I get back and she’d let me know if the mom said anything to her but it seemed like I was in the right in saying no.
I don’t think I’m the Jerk in this situation. I am not her employee and even if I was I still think that’s not something you should ask someone to do outside of work hours. I do not know this mom well at all, we rarely talk at pickup or drop off and she was sitting at a table of her friends who I presume know about her situation and would’ve have been better people to ask for help. I think if she would rather let her kid sit in a dirty diaper for the car ride home instead of changing it herself, she shouldn’t be going places without her husband. The only part of this that makes me feel a little bit sad is the fact that the kid had to sit in their own poop for the car ride home. So, I’m in the middle of a shitstorm and need some advice on if I’m wrong.
Here are a few comments on the story where it was originally posted: