Have you heard of ordering a bride? If no then here we go…Mail-order bride is a label applied to a woman who proclaims her desire to marry someone from another – usually more financially developed – country. Historically, mail-order brides were women who list would themselves in catalogs and were selected by men for marriage. Mail order brides are for men and women in hopes of finding a companion placed advertisements in a publication specifically designed for lonely hearts. For those whose are amazed maybe should have some fun and go shopping for a bride. But before you start lets have a look at some interesting facts about mail order brides.
#1 AMERICAN FRONTIER
During the mid 1800s, the American frontier was the first to see the concept of mail-order brides. In hopes of claiming land, farming, establishing businesses, and finding gold, men were migrating to West from East. Most of these men found financial success while immigration in the West, but the company of wife was the one thing that they were missing. It was hard for these men to settle down and plan a family as very few women lived in the West.. Their only choice was to attract women living back East; the men wrote letters to churches and published personal advertisements in magazines and newspapers. In return, the women would write to the men and send them photographs of themselves.
#2 TRUST FACTOR
In a relationship, trust is more important than love. It will enhance your love. In todays world trusting someone is not easy. But life is all about risk. There is positive and negative things about everything in life. So it’s not easy to judge whose right or wrong. For instance, there was a story of a reddit user (I used to coach a handicapped bowling league. It was one of the most fun things I’ve ever done. There was a blind guy (Bill) in our group who bowled, with help of a guiding rail to know where to aim the ball. He was a funny guy who always joked about his blindness (“So, I saw this really cool car this morning!” kinda humour). If he played badly he blamed me because I was the one who set up the rail and made sure it pointed at the pins!
Anyway he admitted that he’d had zero luck dating girls and married a Filipino girl he found in a paid marital service. He was the first person I knew who’d done this. He visited her 3 times in The Philippines before they got married. Then he married her in Manila and brought her back to Australia.
Honestly, she was the loveliest girl. She was quiet when they came out together but he said she was very loving and cared for him a lot. I’d never seen him happier. They have two kids and are still together (this was 15 years ago).
I’m sure it sometimes (maybe often) works out badly, but Bill and his wife are a great couple. It made me appreciate how hard it can be for handicapped people to have relationships or find love and happiness.)
Contrary to popular belief, many mail order marriages enjoy great success.
#3 HOW TO MEET
There are two types of “international marriage agencies” exist. The first type sells female client’s contact information and encourages men and women to approach prior to meeting. The second type offers “group tours. Here, men can travel to foreign lands and meet several women at parties and events organized by the agency. If an American male wishes to use the first type, they need to supply mental health information and criminal history, and, if they do make a match, will eventually be required to meet the bride in person before she can obtain a US visa.
#4 BIG PROFITS
The mail order bride industry has made a lot of money. In Taiwan, mail-order brides are sourced primarily from Mainland China and Southeast Asia, especially Vietnam. For Vietnam women the common age would range between 20 to 28 years of age. This type of marriage Taiwanese men would spend USD $10,000; however, the bride’s family will receive only USD $500 to USD $1,000 dollars while the remaining money would be taken by marriage brokers of the groom and the bride.
#5 STRANGE EDUCATION
A course named “Mail Order Brides: Understanding the Philippines in Southeast Asian Context” which is supposedly a detailed understanding into Filipino kinship and gender is offered in Johns Hopkins University. And there are quite a number of students who opt for this course.
#6 DIVORCE RATES
The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that “…marriages arranged through [mail order bride] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.” The USCIS also reports that “… mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year.” This is associated to a high amount of correspondence, and ensuring both will be good, solid match. At times, the correspondence can take years, and as a result, mail order marriages enjoy a very low divorce rate.
#7 SWEET ESCAPE
An escape for those who can’t face the community or speak the truth about themselves. Okay, so I have a story that I read in reddit. It goes as…This was years ago when I worked in a pornstore for 2 years. One of the regulars that came in was a well-off gay man in his late 40’s. One day, he told me (out of the blue) that he wouldn’t be in for a week, as he was going to his wife’s home country to attend a funeral.
I was amazed to hear the word “wife” because he always spoke about his live-in boyfriend all the time.
He further said that his family was avery strict Christian and he felt that being a gay would break his family’s heart, so he got a mail order bride and married her. She lives in an addition he built onto his house, and all he asked initially was that she keep up the house, cook his and his boyfriend’s meals, and generally keep up appearances when his family came to visit.
Well, they are now super good friends. When his family comes to visit, his boyfriend claims to be the one that lives in the addition. She now works after he helped her go back to school. She has a great boyfriend that she loves a lot and a wonderful good life.
For both, the bride and the buyer,the mail-order bride industry can be a dangerous place. There have been incidents where a bride has been abused, or even murdered by her husband or vice-versa. You might be lucky by meeting someone nice, or you might be one of the unlucky ones who ends up dead. Here is the description of just one such case:
Anastasia King, a young woman from Kyrgyzstan, was found strangled and buried in a shallow grave in Washington state in December 2000. At the age of 18, Anastasia had received an email from a 38-year-old Seattle man, Indle King, from a mail order bride website. He flew to her country and they were married soon after. Two years later, after considerable strife, Indle wanted another bride. He was allegedly unwilling to pay for a divorce so he ordered a tenant in their Washington home to kill Anastasia. Weighing nearly 300 pounds, her husband pinned Anastasia down while the tenant strangled her with a necktie. Both were convicted of murder. May her soul rest in peace.
Mail order services – those found online – are not “selling” brides. The brides themselves vwillingly post their picture, what they like and don’t like and which country they are interested in.
#10 NOT GENDER EXCLUSIVE
Many mail-order services offer both brides and husbands, that means it’s no longer meant only for women. From these sites many women order a ready-made husband to marry and settle down with.
Mail-order services are easier to use than ever before due to the raise of the internet. Earliertimes, agreement would take days, or weeks. Thanks to email and instant messaging, brides-to-be can talk and chat instantly with suitors, exchange pictures, or even chat live on camera. This makes the process much easier to use.
Traditionally, Russian or Asian women were associated for the mail order bride services. However, in todays world, brides from all over the world willingly post themselves looking for husbands. Women in Eastern Europe, the UK, and the USA have all been picking up in popularity.
Mail order brides have been gaining popularity due to the rise of internet and the easy use of the system. In many areas, suitable marriage partners are not available or finding a suitable bride can be difficult. Because of this, more and more are turning to mail order services to find a mate to settle down with.This new kind of internet marriage agencies is rapidly developing and overtaking the market.
Many of the women who sign up for mail order bride services have excellent education – even being college graduates. Though earlier people would think that mail order brides come from poor or meager means and lack an education – but this is proving quite the opposite.In many cases, the women are educated, career oriented, and often times live in countries where there are simply not enough men in the population as potential husbands.
Some have thought that mail order bride services are illegal, linking them to slave trade or to prostitution. However,for the safe treatment of women there are international standards and laws as well as domestic laws that have been passed. The United States has laws protecting women from violence and abuse, and mail order services are named in these laws. The best thing is the service is not just legal, but the law is designed to assure both the bride and the buyer.
The type of people who order brides and the type of people who want to be brides both want a stable and peaceful family life. Finally, I think successful marriage, in the long run, have more to do with good attitude and common goals.