‘Well, If You’re Not My Daughter-In-Law Anymore, Then From Now On You’re My Daughter.’: Couple Choose To Peacefully Co-Parent After Divorce, ‘The Kids First, Ego Last Formula Has Been So Worth It’
Life can be simple if we humans try not to complicate it. It becomes more beautiful if we keep our ego far far away. Here is an amazing story of how negative energy is kept aside to being a positive atmosphere in the family.
Story by Kristina Kuzmic
My ex-husband’s parents obviously weren’t thrilled about me divorcing their son.
Soon after the divorce, I drove to my in-laws’ house and had a very long and open and difficult and awkward and beautiful and complicated conversation with them.
We decided not to point fingers or blame or judge. We just talked about the most important thing: the kids. We decided to put our differences and our pride aside and focus on what really matters: family, forgiveness, love.
I remember one particular phone call early on, while things were still really tense between their son and me, his mom said: “Well, if you’re not technically my daughter-in-law anymore, then from now on you’re my daughter.”
And they have treated me like one since.
Today was another Thanksgiving spent at their house. I’ve always been welcome.
Once I started dating my current husband, I assumed the invitation to Thanksgiving would stop. But no. The invitation was extended to him as well.
It’s been like this for years now, all of us getting together for the holidays.
Today, we once again ate together as one big family. Today, my husband helped my ex-husband’s mom set the table and clean up, as he does every year.
Today, I listened as my ex-husband and current husband discussed work and football and parenting.
Today, I watched my ex-husband play superheroes with my son from my second marriage.
Today was about all the stuff that really matters and not about the unnecessary drama we humans tend to create.
None of this divorce, remarriage, co-parenting stuff is easy. In some ways, it’s the hardest part of my life. But the hard work and our “kids first, egos last” formula has been worth it. So, so worth it.
(The first photo is of my ex-husband’s mom and me from last year’s Thanksgiving. The second photo is from today, my current husband helping my ex-husband’s mom set the dessert table.)